Welcome To The SongFic Library
by LoneStarGirl93
Summary: Continued:  -A collection of odds and ends songfics. Hope you guys enjoy. -StarRob
1. INTRODUCTION

Hey guys…this is LoneStarGir93, formerly known as Sta-R-obin.

XOXOX

Welcome to the Songfic Library.

This'll be a mixture of different songfics and random drabbles. None will be linked together unless noted, and there is no song to be repeated.

Requests will be taken, as long as they are RobStar, and all criticism will be accepted.

Any subject imaginable will be featured, ranging from Angst, to Fluff, to Comedy, to Horror. I'll take any requests unless they involve citrus/lemons, and SHOULD have a new one up every week or every other week, however I'm not giving any promises.

I appriciate reviews, but I won't hold on updating for lack of them or things of that sort.

If you have a request, review it or PM (personal message) me and I'll reply as soon as I can. You can have a song you want me to make a story for, or you could have a story for it and just not want to write it yourself. Either way, I'll gladly help ya out in the department. XP

I hope you guys thoroughly enjoy this.

Love you guys!


	2. Starts With Goodbye

Okie dokie guys…some of you have already read this songfic…but either way, it's a song I really enjoy, and a fic I wrote quite a while back…

I hope you all enjoy:]

Flamers and Praise welcome!

XOXOXOXOX

Starts With Goodbye

XOXOXOXOX

She sat quietly, trying to bring reality into what she'd just done...she'd known she had to do it. She was falling too hard for him. She knew he'd be the one to drop her guard...and she couldn't let that happen. No matter how much she wanted to let it fall. To break it down. To smash it to pieces. She knew she couldn't. Not after everything that happened to her. She couldn't afford to let anyone in. And she wouldn't.

She just had to keep reminding herself that it was for the best. Lie constantly to herself that it wouldn't have gone anywhere, or that he'd grow tired of her soon enough. She knew it wasn't true. But you can convince yourself of anything. So she was telling herself that. Over and over again until it stuck: They just weren't meant to be together...but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt.

She'd called him to her house. Tonight. To end everything. To think it through and make sure he knew her decision. That her mind was made up. That this was final. Fight it all she wanted, she had to do it...she knew she did. Good things never lasted. And he was too good to be true.

_I was sitting on my doorstep,_

_I hung up the phone and it fell out of my hand,_

_But I knew I had to do it,_

_And he wouldn't understand._

She rose to her feet. It wasn't that big of a deal. He was just the man she'd fallen head over heels over. There were bound to be more, right? Wrong...so wrong. She knew it...but she couldn't deny the logic. Couldn't deny the facts.

No guys deserved her. He was so much better. He deserved so much better. Not her. She didn't deserve him. He was perfect and she...wasn't. She was anything but perfect. She was nothing and he was everything. they didn't go together. Didn't belong. And she knew it.

She couldn't drag him down with her. Couldn't leave him with any faint touch of hope that she'd be back...that they'd be together again. She couldn't. So she had to let go. Let go of the only thing that kept a smile on her face. The only thing that kept her wanting more...she had to let go of him...to save him.

_So hard to see myself without him,_

_I felt a piece of my heart break,_

_But when you're standing at a crossroad,_

_There's a choice you gotta make._

The letter from Tameran changed everything. Made everything seem worthless. Helpless. Hopeless. He was the only thing that mattered to her...the only thing she loved. And the only thing that she wanted. He told her they'd be together forever and she'd believed him. She was happy. Satisfied. More importantly: she was whole. There was nothing missing. He was all she'd ever hoped for, and she got it. He was hers and she was his. Shouldn't it be that simple?

Tameran didn't seem to think so. They needed their princess back. To restore order. But she knew the truth. The Gordanians had attacked again. And she was their only bargaining chip to peace. She had to go. To save her people. To save her planet. And she had to go alone.

He didn't know. About anything of that sort. And she couldn't tell him. Especially not if it would make him want to help fight. No. He couldn't find out. For certain, he couldn't find out. She had to keep it a secret from him. Even if that meant lying to him and ending everything. It would keep him safe. Keep him alive.

She wanted to tell him she'd be back, and if he could wait; she'd find her way back into his arms...but she knew it was a lie. She wasn't coming back. She knew she was going to die there. And it was completely fine with her. As long as she was sure he was going to be alright in the end. And he was.

_I guess it's gonna have to hurt,_

_I guess I'm gonna have to cry,_

_And let go of some things I've loved,_

_To get to the other side._

He pulled into the driveway, clutching a bouquet of red roses, in one hand, and an award-winning smile in the other. She smiled slightly as her eyes met his. His eyes lit up the way they always did when on hers and his smile only broadened as he made his way up the stairs and up to her, catching her in his grasp and gently, yet immediately, crushing his lips up against hers. She kissed him back, a hollow smile tugging at her lips and a stinging tear sliding down her cheek.

He surprisingly, didn't notice it and delved his tongue deep into her willing mouth, lining her upper jaw, than her bottom. She kissed him harder and threw her arms around him, trying her hardest not to cry. She loved kissing him. And this would be the last time she would ever get the chance to.

He kissed her until she was breathless. Panting violently and planting light kisses around her face, her nose gently rubbing against his. She fought the urge to hold him closer and freeze this moment. In his arms. Not a care in the world...at least, not right now.

"Hey baby." he said softly, through a wide grin. Her smile slightly faded as she remembered the reason she called for him to come here. Her smile slowly faded, and her gaze fell to the ground. He didn't seem to notice, burying his face into the crook of her neck and grinned, planting a light kiss on her skin.

"Richard...there's a reason I called you here..."

_I guess it's gonna break me down,_

_Like falling when you try to fly,_

_It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,_

_Starts with goodbye._

He stood there in shock, eyes glued to hers, carrying a heavy weight of tears, and hurt. The woman who was just kissing him like there was no tomorrow only moments ago, had just said that she wanted to end everything. She held their relationship in her slender grasp, and was pulling it apart right in front of him.

"Are you serious?" he asked after a long silence, trying to regain what was left of his confidence. At this point, Kori's eyes were filled to the brim with tears, and silent sobs were spilling from her lips as she watched the tears form in his eyes...and knowing that she caused them.

Her trembling gaze fell to the floor as she tried to think of a way to put whatever she had to say as lightly as possible. He grit his teeth, waiting for an answer that would tell him if he should walk straight out the door and never look back, or stay right where he was and talk this out with her.

The silence was filling the air and the fear was growing in the handsome young man's heart...he didn't want to lose her. He couldn't. She had stolen his heart and worn it around her neck. He wanted it back...but he knew he couldn't get it. She had too tight a grasp on it...and his hold was too lose. He'd given it to her in all of his confidence...all of his glory...and there's no chance that she can let go of it now. Whether she wanted to or not. He loved her. Only her. And forever her. That was just the way it is. No one could change that. He couldn't. She couldn't. God couldn't. But the silence was growing near unbearable

Kori looked up shyly and answered him with only a single, gentle nod.

_I know there's a blue horizon,_

_Somewhere up ahead, just waiting for me,_

_Getting there means leaving things behind,_

_Sometimes life's so bitter sweet._

He stomped out the door, trying to pretend he was angry at her. Cursing himself for letting things get that far. He was angry at himself for falling that far in love. Angry at her for making him fall so hard. Angry at everything...but despite the anger pulsing through his body; he was near tears. She'd just tossed him out without a life raft and he was drowning fast.

He refused to let the tears fall. Refused to appear weak in anyone's eyes...but how long he could fool himself that crying was unnecessary..that was a mystery. He knew he'd break at some point. He just didn't know when or where...or how hard. How many pieces there would be to clean up...how he'd take it...he knew it would happen...but the mysterious facts were killing him...almost as much as she was.

It didn't matter. She didn't want him anymore. That was that, plain as can be. They simply weren't meant to be together. If she didn't want to be with him, he didn't want to force her. If she was happier this way; so was he...no matter how badly his insides were dying. Everything inside him was gone. Filled with a black hole...and he didn't care. If he didn't have her, he didn't care what the fuck happened to him.

_I guess it's gonna have to hurt,_

_I guess I'm gonna have to cry,_

_And let go of some things I've loved,_

_To get to the other side,_

_I guess it's gonna break me down,_

_Like falling when you try to fly,_

_It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,_

_Starts with goodbye._

She watched him pull out of the driveway and out of her life forever. She collapsed to her knees and burst into sobs...she just let the best thing that ever happened to her slip clear through her grasp...but it didn't really matter... if he left that easily, then what made her think he would have stayed around much longer?

She expected a fight...and that's not what she got. She told him what was on her mind, he questioned her seriousness, and stormed out the door...not even looking back. If he loved her the way she hoped he did...why didn't he put up a fight? Why did he just leave? ...if he loved her the way she loved him...where is he now?

Their relationship had been like a flash fire; while it burned it was alive and passionate...but it took much less than a crew of firemen to put it out...it took her word...just her word and he was out of her life forever...her smile was off the face of the earth...forever. The smile that he lit...the smile that only burned for him...the smile that held her together fell apart like a chandelier cut off at the base...falling...falling...falling. Breaking.

...breaking...just like her heart.

She knew it was for the best. She knew he'd be much better off...he wouldn't have to wait for her...not when she wouldn't be back...she hugged her knees to her chest before releasing another heavy sob...he'd be better off...he'd be happier...and she'd be dead...

_Time, time heals,_

_The wounds that you feel,_

_Somehow, right now._

A year had passed, and thoughts of her were still tickling his mind. He knew she was happy now. Gone. Out of his life forever...but stuck in his mind forever. He knew he'd never forget her...never stop loving her...she was the first woman he'd ever told that he loved...and she'd returned, once...before any of this, she loved him too...and that tore him apart. That now, she wanted nothing to do with him...

He knew he would never see her again...he knew that...but he couldn't believe it. He wanted her back more than anything. He wanted to see her again. Wanted to kiss her again. He wanted to hold her again. To sleep in late on Sunday and lay in bed all day. To wake up next to her. He wanted her back. But he wouldn't get that chance...never again...he had it...and he lost it.

Still, a day didn't go by that he didn't drive or walk past her house, in hopes that he would catch a sign that she was there...a glimpse of her car in the driveway. A glimpse of her face through the window...her footprints in the snow...anything. It became his obsession. To find her...even though he knew he never would...

He began telling himself she was gone, but that only sent him deeper into denial...he didn't want to believe that she was gone...so he tried to ignore all the logic that pointed to the fact that she was. He knew she was gone...but he went by her house every day...like a love-sick puppy trying to find his way home...

_I guess it's gonna have to hurt,_

_I guess I'm gonna have to cry,_

_And let go of some things I've loved,_

_To get to the other side,_

_I guess it's gonna break me down,_

_Like falling when you try to fly,_

_It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,_

_Starts with goodbye,_

She had escaped! She found herself back in Gotham, free of the pain from the past two years. Free from the Gordanians. Free just like Tameran was. But...why did it still hurt so badly?

_I guess it's gonna have to hurt,_

_I guess I'm gonna have to cry,_

_And let go of some things I've loved,_

_To get to the other side,_

_Starts with goodbye,_

_The only way you try to find,_

_It's sad but, Moving on with the rest of your life,_

_Starts with goodbye,_

She walked up her old driveway, standing in the middle of it...she was home. After everything that had happened...

She should've been happier. She'd won. Won her freedom. Won her life back. Won her planet's safety...won everything...but one thing kept hammering into the side of her head...the thought of it was painful. Ringing tears from her eyes...it had been two years...and it still seemed as if it were yesterday.

She fell to her knees, wishing that everything would just heal itself...wanting to see Richard. Wanting him to be there to hold her...but she knew he wouldn't be...she knew he'd probably moved on by now. Probably had a family. Kids. A wife. Everything by now. She was probably nothing but an old fling. Someone he'd forgotten long ago...someone who didn't care anymore...

"Kori?"

Perhaps she'd spoken too soon.

Her glassy eyes trailed up, only to meet the familiar icy blue eyes of the only man she has ever and will ever love. Concern was written all over his face. Concern and astonishment. Her eyes widened at the sight of him, but she froze, unsure of what to do...she'd never expected to see him...and now that he was right in front of her...she had no idea what she was going to do...and neither did he.

He'd walk by her house everyday and every night...just hoping he would see her again. He knew he wouldn't. Knew he was just wasting his time...but now, here they were. Staring at each other, nearly two years after she'd left him with his heart severed open, bleeding out every ounce of his love for her, shock pulsing through his entire body. He'd tried repeatedly to get over her...but he never did. He gave her his heart and she broke it, taking half of it with her. She'd disappeared for so long, that now she was actually back...it was like seeing a ghost.

"Richard..." she breathed through the pain in her voice. She was ready to fall apart. She expected to be dead...expected to forget him. But now, she knows she'll be alright...but than again, no, she won't. She knew he was over her. Knew he wanted nothing to do with her after what she did. But she couldn't have been more wrong. He wanted her back. Everything about her...every bit of her. And she'd do anything to be in his arms again...

He fell to his knees, defeated, looking straight into her eyes...straight into her soul. He didn't know what to say...what to think...more importantly, what to do. He wanted her back...wanted more than anything to call her his again...and she wanted the same thing. Her eyes were glued to his, before her face filled with pain, and she broke. Falling apart. She broke into a fit of sobs, crying as if the world had ended. She let loose the tears she'd held back for years.

His brows furrowed with concern as he leaned forward and pulled her into his warm grasp like he'd wanted to do for so long...only when he'd dreamt it...she wasn't crying. She was happy to see him and acted as if everything was alright...right now, nothing was alright.

He squeezed her tightly, making sure not to hurt her. She returned the gesture, burying her face into his neck and sobbing even harder than before. Her entire body was trembling with an incredible intensity, making him drip with worry. He pressed his forehead to her head and kissed her slightly. Confusion spun through her head and forced her to pull away, looking directly at him through teary eyes,

"W-what are you-"

"Shut up." he told her coldly, taking her back, and forcing even more tears into her eyes. She swallowed lightly and looked at him again, through blurry vision, trying to speak, but finding that no words were coming out. He shook his head,

"Just shut up." he said as he crushed his lips against hers.

XOXOXOXOX

Hope y'all liked it!

Please review 3


	3. You And Me

Alright y'all, another one of the old ones:] Sorry…I didn't have time to proof read it, so I hope it's okay! ENJOY!

Flamers and Praise welcome!

XOXOXOXOX

YOU AND ME

XOXOXOXOX

Richard Grayson and Korina Anderson hated each other. I don't mean the usual glare at you pass; I mean they hated each others' guts. But it wasn't their fault. They had help. I mean, Korina (or Kori) had just been the new girl a mere four weeks ago, and Richard took an immediate liking to her. He would wait after class to 'accidently' walk next to her, or purposely yet incidentally, sit across from her at lunch. She'd look up and see him, offer him a dazzling smile, than continue what she was doing before hand.

This didn't go unnoticed by everyone. One person in particular managed to catch it. His name was Xavier Redd. He was one of Richard's best friends, and he had fallen head over heels for the bubbly redhead.

Kori had definitely noticed Richard. But she wouldn't say anything to let anyone clue into it. She was much too shy to say anything to him or anyone, but one person noticed. One person who was in love with Richard, her name was Kaitlyn Moth. Then again, she didn't even notice. She noticed him looking at her. And to her, a sweet smile (one of her numerous methods) could easily be mistaken for something more.

As you would imagine, being the second-place playboy and the school skank, Xavier and Kaitlyn knew each other. Pretty well. They not only knew each other, but they also knew about a third of the school each. They had connections to nearly every clique. So...in all honesty, Kori and Richard never really got a chance.

Kaitlyn simply told Kori that Richard wanted to sabotage her, and Xavier told Richard that Kori was spreading rumors about the women he's slept with and all over, rumors about him. They confronted and, as you would imagine, and had an interesting conversation. You know the conversations where two people are talking about two completely different things, but they tie together to fit like a pair of jigsaw pieces? That's what happened to them. So, if you didn't know already, that's how their hatred started.

_What day it is?_

_And in what month?_

_This clock never seemed so alive._

"Hey man, what's up?" Victor Stone, a.k.a: Richard's best friend, asked, strutting up to his locker to meet him. Richard looked at him and released an exaggerated and completely unnecessary groan,

"You didn't hear? You're like the only person in the school. Bruce is throwing a spur-of-the-moment business dinner. Some new partners are there, and...god..." he said rolling his eyes angrily from a pair of pitch black sunglasses. He hated formal gatherings, or anything that involved him being forced to flirt with random girls, to befriend them, to benefit Wayne Enterprises. Vic smirked at him sympathetically,

"There goes your Friday night." he told his handsome friend. Richard just nodded and sighed, turning back to his locket as her began to mess with books of sort, not even really paying attention to which ones he grabbed. Vic rose a brow at him,

"If you want; I can invite Bee and we can keep you company while you're not hitting on anyone." he offered. His girlfriend, Bee, or Karen, loved the dances Vic took her to at the Wayne Manor, whatever the occasion. And having his best friend there always made the night seem more bearable, even with Bruce's ranting of how unprofessional it was to talk to his friends when he's supposed to be making business opportunities. Richard's counter argument was always the same: 'It's a party. Parties are supposed to be fun.'

"I don't care." he said, finally looking down and actually paying attention to the books he was pulling out of his locker. Vic chuckled slightly, making Richard look up at him through furrowed brows, curiosity in his deep, yet hidden, blue eyes.

"Something funny?" he asked. Vic tried to hide his amusement, but Richard was quickly losing his patience...three nights with nearly no sleep will do that to you. He grit his teeth and rose a brow,

"What is it?" he asked. Vic just grinned wickedly,

"I know the reason you're throwing the party. I know who it is." he said, sparking Richard's top interest. He wanted to know who it was so that he could kick the tar out of them.

"Who?" he asked his tall friend. Vic shook his head,

"You'll have to wait and see. I'll be there at seven. Don't kill them." he said as he began away quickly. Richard rose a brow angrily and shook his head, turning his attention back to his locker, slamming it shut walking off with his Geometry book hooked into his left arm. It didn't even really matter that he had Spanish next period.

_I can't keep up,_

_And I can't back down,_

_I've been losing,_

_So much time._

"This better be a good opportunity, Bruce. I need sleep!" he hissed as he stood beside the dance floor, watching his adoptive father with irritated, wary eyes. Bruce just rolled his eyes, slightly angered by Richard's attitude. He also hadn't gotten much sleep. But Bruce Wayne was famous for being an insomniac. Among other things.

"You better not act that way towards Ms. Buckton." he said warily. Richard tried not to laugh at the name Bruce spit out, but found it hard. He looked up at Bruce through a wide smirk,

"Buckton?" he asked him, humor in his tone. Bruce's face remained completely still. A sigh entered and escaped his lips and he shook his head slightly, looking at Richard, or Dick, as he called him,

"I don't know. That's her father's name. She's adopted. I don't know if she kept her name or took his." he said. This peaked his interest...an orphan. Just like him. He rose a brow curiously,

"Adopted." he asked. Bruce just nodded,

"Mr. Buckton said she was seven. He said not to bring it up." Bruce warned. Richard nodded reluctantly and sighed. He wanted to know. Was curious what happened. Why they died. How they died. But he shook it off and turned his attention back to Bruce.

"Where is she?" he asked, waiting to see whatever unattractive girl he'd get stuck with hanging around. Bruce's brown eyes searched through the crowd until he rose his hand, pointing to a girl sitting in the corner. Richard followed his gaze and saw a man standing in front of her. The man just walked away, looking angry. Richard rolled his eyes and looked to the girl, only to see her head in her hands. He felt bad for her, but from what he saw, the girl was attractive.

He cleared his throat and nodded to Bruce making his way around the dance floor, not once taking his eyes off her...but then she uncovered her face. Richard's eyes widened and he froze in place. He was looking at Korina Anderson. The new girl he fell for, and hated.

He stared at her, in more awe than surprise...she looked beautiful. He couldn't ignore that fact. He'd only ever seen her with her hair in a ponytail with jeans and a t-shirt on...but now...she wore a dress that came just barely above her knees. It was sleeveless with two very thin black straps criss-crossed around her neck and down her back. It was white and seemed to glisten in the light...but not in the way she did.

Her hair was down and was pin-straight. You could tell how vibrant the color of it was now, and there were blue streaks through the top...maybe that's why she wore it in a ponytail. To hide them. She had on the lightest lip gloss on, and a faint coat of glitter around her eyes...as if she needed it. She just seemed to glow...and he couldn't get over it...

_Cause it's you and me,_

_And all other people,_

_And nothing to do._

_Nothing to lose._

_Cause it's you and me._

_And all other people,_

_And I don't know why,_

_I can't keep my eyes off of you._

He shook off his hypnotism and took in a deep breath...he just had to remind himself that he hated her. That she was a bitch. And that this was purely for the business...but deep down inside, he knew he wanted to dance with her. He knew he wanted to be near her...and more importantly; he knew he wanted her.

He began towards her and stopped a few steps away from her. He watched her rest her forehead on the palm of her and sigh. She seemed sad...he didn't know why, but he knew he had to pretend like he couldn't stand her...yet he had to be friendly at the same. Richard sucked in a light breath and sighed, clearing his throat to get her attention,

"Xavier, please leave me alone. I do not wish to dance with you, nor do I was another glass of punch." she said. He looked at the table to see about nine full glasses of punch. I furrowed his brows,

"I'm not Xavier." he said. She just looked up slowly and her eyes widened as she saw him. She looked him up and down, trying to figure out three things. One: Why he was there. Two: Why he was standing in front of her. And three: Why was she trying not to blush? She just swallowed and furrowed her brows, praying that the remains of her tears couldn't be seen.

"What do you want?" she asked coldly. He rolled his eyes. He hated her, remember? She tried to hold a strong glare, but her anger was low right now. Just because of the day. Because of the date. And Richard wasn't exactly in the mood to be a dick either...doesn't mean he couldn't try.

"My dad told me to ask you to dance. Just humor him. Believe me, he'll get his way." he said, as he held his hand out to her. She just looked and it and scoffed slightly, trying to act as though she didn't feel so terrible. Today just hadn't been a good day today...that and the fat that Richard's standing in front of her...she just swallowed gently,

"You are...kidding, correct-"

"Koriand'r. There you are. And you've met Mr. Wayne's boy!" came a warm voice. Kori turned to look at her father figure, as did Richard, who was taken so far off by the appearance of this guy. He was huge. Easily twice the size of Vic, but he had the most inviting grin and the kindest face.

"May I speak with you for a moment?" she asked curiously. Galfore just grinned warmly and nodded. Kori glanced at Richard who watched Galfore warily through a pair of wide eyes. Kori walked over to the side and looked at Galfore,

"Galfore, I cannot do this. Please do not make me. Between the day it happens to be, to the day I have been having, and the lack of sleep, I cannot think straight. Please do not make me do this." she whispered. Richard was listening intently, surprised by what she just said to her father. Galfore looked at her sympathetically and sighed,

"Koriand'r, it's just a dance. It won't hurt you. You need to learn to trust people." he told her. She looked down and then back up to him, trying not to cry,

"I do not need to trust people. It is the unwisest thing I have ever done." she said as quietly as she could, but Richard still heard. He sat down and furrowed his brows. He wasn't crazy about the dancing with her idea, but he was fully intent on listening. Galfore's face morphed into a comforting smirk and he shook his head. He placed a hand on her shoulder and leaned forward,

"Koriand'r, it'll be okay. It's just a dance. Come on, it'll make Bruce Wayne feel better." he said to her. She knew it was true. And she knew she would have to dance with him if she wanted to or not. She knew it would help...still, she offered him a worried glance. Galfore sighed,

"Hey, how 'bout this. If he puts a hand anywhere he's not supposed to; I'll kill him." he told her. She smiled at him slightly and nodded. She sighed and turned reluctantly back to Richard who was listening to them, but trying to act as if he was interested in something on the dancefloor. Kori looked down hesitantly and Galfore cleared his throat to get the handsome young man's attention. Richard snapped back to them and sat up straight and looked from her to him,

"I believe you and my daughter were to share a dance?" he asked. Richard grit his teeth, but rose to his feet and looked up at Galfore. He sucked in a deep breath and held his arm out to her.

"Yeah..." he mumbled as he looked at her. She looked him in the eye and nervously took his arm. He tightened his grasp gently and nodded to the dance floor. (of course, right at that moment, the DJ saw Richard Grayson with a new girl and pulled out a new song) Richard listened for a moment before the light strumming of a guitar came into hearing range. They looked at one another for a moment before they both recognized the song: 'You and Me' from Lifehouse.

He swallowed nervously and placed a hand on her waist, a little higher than everyone else, but still formally. She took his neck in her slender hand and their free hands entwined. They began to sway to the music, staring awkwardly elsewhere until someone caught someone's eyes and their glances froze...

_One of the things,_

_I think I should say,_

_Just isn't coming out right._

_I'm tripping on words,_

_You get my head spinning,_

_I don't know,_

_Where to go,_

_From here._

His eyes searched hers, mesmerized. They'd never been up very closely and so he never got the chance to actually see them up close. From afar, you'd believe Kori's eyes to be normal. But when you looked closer, you'd see their deepness...they were the most amazing color he'd ever seen. They were the color of a newly cleaned and polished emerald, only they sparkled ten times brighter.

He fell in love with their color...the delving mystery in them...the innocence...yet the pain. They were probably the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Other than her entirely. He grinned slightly, just for the hell of it...but he couldn't tear his eyes away from hers. Can you blame him?

There was one thing that made them even more special...instead of having the pearl white color surrounding her eyes like he did; she had a light...jade green color. Something he had never seen. With or without contacts. He traced his eyes around them again and again, trying to put his finger on what made them sparkle like they did. The glitter definitely helped, but it was something about them...until he finally grit his teeth in acknowledgement to his question. He knew what it was. It was the innocence. The gentle nature. The lack of pride. She wasn't like any of the other girls he'd ever seen. She was honest. She was for real. She was pure. There was nothing fake about her...and there was nothing about her you couldn't like.

She had an ease. And openness. Something that just made you want to be close to her. Something that made you want to pull her into your arms and hold her to you, despite the judgment of the world. He couldn't take his eyes away from hers...and he had no desire to. He could stay like this for a lifetime, completely satisfied. Forget the hatred. Forget the sabotage. Her eyes told him that she did nothing of the sort. He wanted to believe them...but Xavier was one of his best friends...he wasn't sure who to believe...but he really wanted to believe the beautiful emeralds, sparkling across from him.

_Cause there's you and me,_

_And all other people,_

_And nothing to do._

_Nothing to prove,_

_And it's you and me._

_And all other people,_

_And I don't know why,_

_I can't keep my eyes off of you._

He offered her a slight grin, his mind telling him against it, but a force with the characteristic of an override code, curving his mouth upward, in turn turning hers. Her face turned red and she looked down, unsure why. She tried not to look at him, but found it hard. His eyes were capable of hypnotism...and she had fallen under his spell. The glisten in his eyes danced across her vision and started to replace her view of him.

The swirled graceful to the music, feet caught in rhythmic rotation, eyes glued straight ahead, and hands intertwined in one another. Neither of them had wanted to dance...but now that they had started, both were secretly dreading the end of the song. Kori knew that the second the song was over, his glance would fill with the hatred she knew he felt for her. And he knew her trance wouldn't last...but still they kept dancing, neither adverting their gaze...not even for a moment. Because they both knew that this moment wouldn't last...

_Something about you now,_

_I can't quite figure out._

_Everything she does is beautiful,_

_Everything she does is right._

He pulled her a little bit closer, and she let him, fighting her urge to rest her head on his shoulder. His head fell forward a slight measure, his cheek nearly touching hers, and she leaned forward, pulling the contact into acknowledgement. He breathed her named unconsciously and allowed the dark pink flush to airbrush onto to his pale cheeks. She wanted to break down crying. It was the worst possible day...the worst time to go to a party...the worst time to be forced to dance with her worst enemy...but everything seemed okay that moment. She was in a pair of strong arms...she didn't even know him...but she felt safe with him...and she just wanted to break down and cry. She didn't of course, but she could feel tears reluctantly pricking her eyes.

She squeezed them shut, trying to keep any from falling...but one did. And it landed on Richard's bare neck. He felt it immediately and pulled back, only to see her looking down, tears staining her perfect gems. He furrowed his brows and tilted his head slightly to the side, trying to get her to look at him. She didn't. Her eyes were glued to the floor as if through a radio-magnet. Unmoving and trembling. He sucked in a deep breath and bent down, to look her in the eye. She looked at him for a moment before looking away again.

He took his strong hand and touched it gently to her chin, lifting her face up to meet his. He was careful though, treating her as if she was a porcelain doll. He gently took his thumb and scraped away the tear, so badly taunting him. She looked up at him, furrowing her brows in slight confusion. She didn't expect him to even notice the fact she was trying not to cry..not to break down...but he did. And that's what threw her so far off. He just leaned forward, close enough for his mouth to come to a stop next to her ear. He tilted her head down slightly, unsure what he was doing.

"What's wrong?" he asked her, sincerely. At the sound of his warm voice, she swallowed, and shook her head. Releasing a light sob, she gave in, resting her forehead gently of his shoulder, trying as hard as she could to fight the tears that were being coaxed out of her beautiful eyes. He could feel the blush on his face, but didn't really care. Right now he wanted to know why she was upset...despite all the falsely caused hatred...he cared. He knew he cared. As much as he tried to ignore the fact...he did.

He leaned forward and touched his forehead to the top of her head gently. He shushed her quietly, trying to keep more tears from falling. What was strange was that it wasn't even awkward for him. He wasn't sure about her, but he was actually pretty content on where he was...and even more content about where she was. He continued to make the refreshingly calming 'shh' sounds through his teeth, as she relaxed softly in his grasp.

_Cause there's you and me,_

_And all other people._

_And nothing to do._

_Nothing to lose._

_And it's you and me,_

_And all other people,_

_And I don't know why,_

_I can't keep my eyes off of..._

She pulled away shakily, looking at him, eyes free of tears. He sighed in relief and grinned at her slightly, his eyes watching her warily. She returned the smile slightly before her gaze fell to his lips. He looked down at hers, then back up to her beautiful eyes. They did this several more times, each time, pulling closer and closer to one another, until their lips were only a centimeter apart. He tilted his head to the side, just about to touch his lips to hers before the song ended and people on the dance floor began clapping, and shuffling to where they needed to be. Kori pulled away from him and offered him a light nod,

"Thank you for the dance." she said sweetly as she slowly began to walk away. He cursed silently and looked down. He wasn't sure why he was so upset...because he was actually taking a liking to a girl he was supposed to hate, and who was a business partner, or because he didn't get the satisfaction of the taste of her lips.

He just looked up at her as she stopped from the other side of the dance floor. She stilled completely and slowly turned back to look at him. He swallowed and tried to keep his eyes off of her...it didn't do much good. Like the song said; it was him and her, and hundreds of other people...but his gaze was focused on her...and only her.

_You and me._

_And all other people,_

_And nothing to do._

_Nothing to prove,_

_And it's you and me,_

_And all other people,_

_And I don't know why,_

_I can't keep my eyes off of you._

He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Bruce with a wide grin, staring with the pride of a lion. Richard just rolled his eyes, not even going to consider caring about what he was about to say. Bruce just chuckled,

"See? That wasn't so bad, was it?" he asked. Richard just rolled his eyes and began to walk away from his father, sounding a groan through grit teeth. As he walked, he looked up to see his friend Vic, grinning at him widely. Richard rolled his eyes angrily and growled, not even wanting to pretend to hear what he had to say. He walked over and sat on a chair in the far corner, his eyes still glued to the beautiful redhead, and hers on his. A new song came on 'I'll Be' from Edwin McCain.

Richard looked at Kori with a proud smirk and rose a brow at her curiously. She just smiled widely and rose to her feet.

_What day is it?_

_And in what month?_

_This clocked never seemed so alive._

XOXOXOXOX

Alrighty…so it wasn't the newest or most original thing in the world…

But I hope you guys thought it was cute, and enjoyed it, nonetheless.

I love you guys!

I'll be starting my re-write of **A Tameranian Prophecy **this week too, so keep an eye out;)


	4. 7 Things

Alrighty, another songfic continued from my old account:)

Hope you like it.

Flamers and Praise welcome!

XOXOXOXOXOX

7 things

XOXOXOXOXOX

They'd just broken up. The said to be 'perfect couple' had just ended everything. Kori Anderson and Richard Grayson. The princess and the playboy. They were the happiest couple you could ever imagine...or at least, that was what she thought. Until she got home one night and found Barbara Gordan and Richard in her bed, both stock naked and intertwined.

Her heart broke that day, but she couldn't let him know. She acted calm. Not angry. Not hurt. Not scorned. Not anything. She acted as if ending their relationship had absolutely no effect on her whatsoever. She made it seem like she was totally okay with it. Even if she wasn't.

She packed all of his clothes for him, and put them by the door. When he came home from work the next day, he got the drift. It was probably extremely hard not to. He tried to act like he was angry, and not like his world had just ripped itself apart, but it didn't work. Everyone knew they were both hurting. They also knew that they weren't getting back together.

Richard hadn't meant to hurt Kori. He didn't mean for things to go as far as they had either. Barbara was a friend who asked him to dinner to help her sort out some problems. One thing led to another. One drink led to several. And he honestly saw Kori when he slept with Babs.

Kori however didn't see it that way. She thought he thought she was boring to him and he got sick of her. That's how she saw it. That's how she took it. That's how it was. That's how it would stay. He was trying to forget her...and she was too...but she was having much less luck. She was thinking about him day in and day out. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get him out of her mind...he couldn't really forget her either...

But that was their secret...

_I probably shouldn't say this_

_But at times I get so scared_

_When I think about the previous_

_Relationship we've shared._

She got out of the car, walking up her friend's driveway in the middle of the rain, walking so slowly, she was almost standing still. She wasn't in the mood to see the friends that they had shared together as a couple. She wasn't in the mood to have another reason to think about him. But Karen was one of her best friends, and she had something that was an evident emergency that she needed to talk to her about. And Kori was known for being the one who anyone could talk to. She was the doctor in the middle of an intervention.

She released a heavy sigh as she looked at the porch, where he'd first asked her out.

He and his friend Vic had been talking about it for the longest time and Vic was getting so sick of him chickening out so many times, that he ended up locking Kori and Richard out on the porch together until he actually did it. It had been the last thing she'd expected to happen, and it was the most wonderful thing that could've.

She tried to shake the thought of the memory from her head and reached up, gently wiping away a tear from her hurt emerald eyes. She swallowed nervously, before she caught sight of her dark-skinned friend, peeking through the blinds. A light smile played with the redhead's lips...until the front door, and a handsome dark-haired young man was pushed through and the door slammed shut behind him.

The lock sounded, and Kori and Richard were left standing face to face in the pouring rain.

A knot tied itself in Kori's throat, Richard's gaze fell awkwardly to the ground, and pain was radiating off of them with shocking intensity. After a long silence, a pair of icy blue eyes trailed up and met Kori's teary gems, filling with guilt as he was the hurt in her eyes. He just swallowed and looked her over,

"Th-they, uh...they want to know why we're not...why we're not-"

"Together." she said sharply, her voice slicing into his words, and forcing his confidence to fall...he didn't expect her to be able to say it, because he couldn't. But she looked unaffected by the word, and that lowered his spirits even lower than they'd been moments ago. He only nodded slightly to her and swallowed, looking back down, trying to keep his nerve firmly in hand. She just squeezed her eyes, to block off tears, and opened them, looking back up at him. She knew this was going to hurt...but she knew it was more than manditory.

_It was awesome,_

_But we lost it._

_It's impossible for me,_

_Not to care._

_Now we're standing in the rain,_

_But nothing's ever gonna change,_

_Until you hear,_

_My dear,_

They stood there for a moment, neither of them moving. Neither speaking. Neither of them really breathing. Kori was trying to find the words of what she wanted to say...she'd have to say it bluntly. Had to say it just like she thought it. She had to pretend that she cared nothing for him. Even more importantly, she had to hurt him. Had to get him out of her life for as long as she possibly could. And had to do it in any way she could manage to think of. But before she could think about speaking, the handsome young man's weakened voice filled her ears,

"Why can't you give me another chance? I said I was sorry." he told her, straining the last three words, trying to get her to hear him out. She wanted to believe what he said...she wanted to be his girlfriend, yes, but she knew he hadn't changed. She wanted to just take his work for it. But she wasn't sure if the pain of having him completely shatter her trust, was worth the benefits of being his again...

She swallowed lightly and looked him over nervously, trying to summon confidence enough to spill her mind out to him and turn around, walking out of his life forever...but she knew it wouldn't work like that. She knew she'd lose her nerve halfway through and make a total fool of herself...but she still had to at least try. So she sucked in a light breath and looked him in the eyes,

"You really want to know? Fine. I'll tell you. You were my best friend. Then you were my boyfriend. Than you were the man I loved. And now..." she trailed off just like she knew she would. He looked up the second he heard the word 'love' come out of her mouth. There was a glint of hope sparking in his eyes as he waited for her to continue whatever she had started to say...whether it would be painful, or relieving, or...he didn't know. But he didn't want her to stop there.

"A-and now?" he asked shakily. The suspense was thickening the rainy night air to the point where he could almost not take it anymore. He just wanted to know if there was any hope that she could ever forgive him, and more so, if there was a chance that they'd be together again. But her eyes just drug themselves up to meet his, and her eyebrows sunk down to show her shaky firmness,

"And now, you're a stranger to me. I hate you."

_The seven things I hate about you,_

_You're vain,_

_Your games,_

_You're insecure,_

_You love me, You like her._

_You make me laugh._

_You make me cry,_

_And I don't know which,_

_Side to buy._

_Your friends,_

_They're jerks,_

_When you act like them, _

_Just know it hurts._

_I wanna be,_

_With the one I know._

_And the seventh thing,_

_I hate the most that you do..._

_You make me love you..._

"W-what?" his weakened voice flooded the air, and he could feel the tears starting to form in his eyes. She'd never seen him cry, so he had to try to hold it in. He couldn't believe what he was hearing...the only woman he'd ever said 'I love you' to, just said that she hated him. He didn't like hearing those words come out of her mouth...he hated it. And she did too. But she couldn't show it. She had to keep her guard up as high as she could. So she looked him in the eye,

"I mean...everything's a game to you. You hurt me. Do you get that? I trusted you, and you cheat on me! You're like Xavier! Don't you get how bad that feels? It's like I don't even know you!" She finished, slightly yelling at him. He furrowed his brows in confusion and shook his head at a hurried pace,

"Kori, what do you mean you don't know me? It's still me! I made a simple mistake!" he shouted, holding his hands out and reaching for a reason from her. She was slightly angered, but it hurt her even more to hear him purposely avoiding her accusation of his similarities toward his worst enemy. She just swallowed and shook her head, her eyes narrowing, and more tears began sliding down her face,

"Simple? You betrayed me! And a simple mistake is forgetting to get milk, or...not this. You knew it was wrong. And you knew it would hurt me..." she said to him sadly, releasing a soft cry, trying to make her sobs quiet to him. He just stood there, trying to find his nerve, silence filling the air...

_It's awkward and it's silent,_

_As I wait for you to say,_

_What I really need to hear now,_

_Your sincere apology_

"I don't know what you want me to say..." he told her with all the honesty in his heart. He wanted to know what would make it up to her so he could do it. So they could kiss and make up...if they could kiss and make up. He wanted more than anything for her to just kiss him and tell him that she forgave him for everything...just for them to be together again...but by the look on her face, she didn't seem to see things the same way. She looked at him like he had just thrown the only piece left of her sanity onto the ground and stomped on it viciously,

"I want you to say you're sorry!" she told him, in more of a shout than an actual statement. Richard tried his hardest to ignore the tears that were raining down her beautiful face, and tried not to look at the fact that her amazing emerald eyes were turning slightly red. That's when the gravity of what she'd just said to him hit him like a freight train. He looked at his flawless ex-girlfriend and shook his head, trying to find a way to state what he was thinking,

"What? I've apologized a million times!" he told her...okay, that didn't come out as he'd planned. Instead, it hurt the already sobbing redhead even more. She looked up at him and shook her head, looking down, and then meeting his eyes again,

"No you haven't. You've said you were sorry. You didn't mean it." she choked out softly. Richard's jaw nearly dropped to the ground, and her looked her over, trying to see what was acting on her to make her say what she just said,

"What?" he asked as he found nothing. She just looked him straight in the eye, trying to at least look strong,

"You don't think you did anything wrong...that's not apologizing, Richard...it's just not. You don't mean it unless you admit it...and you can't even do that..." she ended, so quietly, it was almost inaudible. He looked her in the eye and shook her head, swallowing slightly, trying to get her to look back at him, instead of look at the ground, which her gaze was locked to,

_And when you mean it,_

_I'll believe it,_

_If you text it,_

_I'll delete it._

_Let's be clear._

_Oh I'm not coming back._

_You're taking seven steps here._

"Kori, you don't get it...I love you. You know I love you!" he told her, speaking with honesty in every drop of his words. She just let more tears fall, and looked even farther away from him, shaking her head gently,

"No...I don't." she whispered, and Richard felt his heart completely fall out of his chest, and onto the hard concrete landing and breaking into a million tiny, pain-filled pieces.

"No, baby, don't do this!" he screamed to her. She just stifled a harsh sob, and looked down, shaking her head again and letting her tears fall freely as if there was no tomorrow,

"I'm not your baby, don't call me that..." she told him, trying to avoid the thought radiating in her mind, mentioning how much she hated how he was the only man in the world who could make her cry...the only man in the world who could completely break her...

_The seven things I hate about you,_

_You're vain,_

_Your games,_

_You're insecure,_

_You love me, You like her._

_You make me laugh._

_You make me cry,_

_And I don't know which,_

_Side to buy._

_Your friends,_

_They're jerks,_

_When you act like them, _

_Just know it hurts._

_I wanna be,_

_With the one I know._

_And the seventh thing,_

_I hate the most that you do..._

_You make me love you..._

"God, Kori, just listen to yourself! I never did anything bad to our relationship! I didn't mean the thing with Babs!" he yelled to her, near at the top of his lungs. She was thrown so far off, that she could've easily parted with the surface of the earth,

"Oh my gosh, you listen to yourself! Even if it was somehow an accident, you don't get it! You can't even admit that what you did hurt me! Instead you blame it on chance?" she asked him, her tears extremely evident once again. He just dropped his jaw on the ground and shook his head, taking a step closer to her,

"Kori...oh my god! Why are you so against me, all of the sudden? Why are you so upset? I mean...okay, I know what I did was wrong, but...why does it affect you like this?" he asked. The shivering redhead just hid another hard sob, and looked at him, trying to get him to see that she was in pain.

"You know the answer to that...because it hurt...so much..." she whispered. He was confused. He looked her directly in the eye,

"No, I mean, why does it hurt now?" he asked her, looking her over, hoping to see anything close to a chance that they could get through this and be together again. Kori just looked him straight in the eye and swallowed,

"Because I still love you. Okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?"

_And compared to all the great things,_

_It'd take too long too long to recite,_

_I probably should mention,_

_The seven things I like..._

"But you just said you hated me..." he said to her, looking at her, trying his best to understand what she was trying to say...he was praying that she still loved his enough to give him another chance...and she was hoping his reaction would turn her love down and let her be free of him...although she knew it wouldn't.

"I want to...Oh my gosh, I want to be able to...but...it's...your eyes. Your kiss. When you hold my hand...I just-..." she stopped herself from saying too much, catching herself from revealing too much about her lingering feelings for him. She couldn't let him recognize her total vulnerability...but that's not what he was focusing on. He was focusing on the fact that her entire body was violently trembling, and he just wanted it to stop...

"Kori, I-..." he was stopped by the look she gave him as she looked up at him. It looked as if she were trying to say 'Don't-You-Even-Dare', but...he wasn't willing to let her slip away from him...not when he was this close. Instead, he reached out, and wrapped his strong arms around her, pulling the shaking girl against him, trying to comfort her...trying to reclaim her...At first she melted into his grasp, about to snuggle into his chest...at least before she came to her senses...

"No. Let go of me." she told him softly, weakly trying to pull away from him,

_The seven things I like about you,_

_Your hair,_

_Your eyes,_

_Your old Levi's,_

_And when we kiss,_

_I'm hypnotized._

_You make me laugh,_

_You make me cry._

_But I guess that's both I'll have to buy._

_Your hand in mine,_

_When we're intertwined,_

_Everything's alright._

_I want to be,_

_With the one I know._

_And the seventh thing,_

_I like the most,_

_That you do._

_You make me love you._

"Kori, look at me..." he told her, loosening his grip on her, just enough for her to gently pull away. She obeyed him, looking hesitantly up at him, meeting his glassy blue eyes with her tear-stung emeralds. His hand rested gently on the side of her face, and his thumb scraped away a tear that rested there. He held his hand there for a moment, his gaze still glued to hers, before he pulled her in further to him, placing the lightest kiss on her trembling lips. He pulled away and looked back at her,

"I'm sorry, okay? I mean it. I really mean it. I know I hurt you. I know it was my fault. Okay? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, baby. Just don't let this be goodbye." he said, letting the tears actually fall from his eyes now. He didn't care what she thought about his crying. He just wanted her to be able to take him seriously. The redhead looked him straight in the eye, her gaze studying his thoroughly. Studying every aspect of him, before she melted into his grasp.

Richard's grip tightened significantly around her, and he roughly, yet completely softly pressed his lips to her forehead. She just buried her face into his strong chest and whispered one thing: 'I love you..."

XOXOXOXOX

Soooo...to those of you who have already read it, thank you for reading it again!

To those of you who haven't, please tell me what you thought:)


	5. Teardrops On My Guitar

Here is the last of my OLD songfics! I hope you like it! Lol

I'm just starting a new one, so I hope I can get it up here soon.

I'm also working on a requested one, that I'll probably try to post first…

I love you guys!

Flamers and Praise welcome!

XOXOXOXOXOX

The beautiful redhead stood there, talking to her best friend in the entire world: Richard Grayson. Her friend through anything, no matter what she was going through, and her friend through whatever rumors may spread. They were as close as friends could possibly be. They loved each other. He was like the brother she'd never had...and the boyfriend she never will.

See, as close as they are, as friendly, as perfect as they are together, they could never be anything more. Her theory: Becoming anything more than friends could ruin their friendship. Therefore: It wasn't worth it.

Of course, Richard's had several girlfriends over the years they've known each other. She's had a few boyfriends. She's become a pro at learning how to hide her feelings. She now knows how not to show how saddened or hurt she is by whomever Richard chooses to give his affection to. She was so good, in fact, that not even her best friends knew when she was bluffing, or truely happy for him. Richard, of course, was clueless.

He could talk and talk and talk to Kori about his new girlfriend, and think she wanted to hear about it. He couldn't at all see that she was ready to cry her eyes out whenever he brought up who he was with. Couldn't see it at all. And right now, he was telling his best friend, Kori Andersen, about his newest girlfriend, Barbara Gordan.

He looks,

At me.

I fake a smile,

So he won't see,

That I want,

And I need,

They're,

Everything that we should be.

"Oh, I can't Kori. I'm taking Babs out to dinner tonight. I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you." Richard told her, immediately feeling bad for totally killing their tradition. Their tradition was that every wednsday night they would get together and watch the newest scary movie. It was something they'd done every night for almost four years.

Kori had come to his house late one night, after a fight with her sister. She showed up on his doorstep full of tears. She didn't even have to ask if she could stay there that night. When she stopped cying on his shoulder, he wanted to cheer her up. He knew she loved horro movies, so he had Alfred go rent a new movie, and he came back with Saw. A weird way to cheer someone up, but it worked. And they kept it up every night...until tonight. She tried to act like it was no big deal, ignoring the needles poking into the back of her eyes. Instead, she just gave his a sweet smile and nodded to him,

"No, don't worry about it. I get it." she told him softly, looking away from him and starting in the opposite direction of him, trying to keep her feelings bottled. Trying not to say anything else. Richard watched her as she dissapeared around the corner and sighed, hanging his head. Angry at himself.

_I'll bet she's beautiful,_

_That girl he talks about._

_And she's got everything,_

_That I have to live without._

Later that day, Kori stood at her lab station, goggles in place, gloves over her hands. She held the test tubes firmly in her hands. She carefully knelt down at eye level of the beaker in front of her and slowly, as carefully as she could, watching the bubbly liquid stretch gently, slowly reaching for the top of the glass container.

Richard, who just came in late, began walking away from the teacher and toward his best friend, placing a strong hand on her shoulder as he passed her, lightly grazing her skin. She just followed him with his eyes, flashing him a beauiful smile as he looked back at her. He grinned in reply, before he looked up at her hands,

"Kori!" he shouted quickly, immediately running back over to her. She looked up, to see the liquids bubbling fiercly and flying in almost every direction, even on her hands. Richard immediately stripped of his jacket and took her hands in his, trying to rub off the stinging chemicals before they were absorbed into her skin.

"Oh shit, here, let me get some napkins!" he shouted, looking at her hands, and already seeing the red reaction. She looked up at him, trying her hardest to ignore the lipstick stuck to the edge of his bottom lip. She felt the tears pricking her eyes and looked away, shaking her head furiously,

"No, I'm sorry! I'm so stupid!"

_He talks,_

_To me,_

_I laugh,_

_Cause it's so damn funny._

_That I can't,_

_Even see,_

_Anyone when he's with me._

It was the next day. Richard, of course, knew not to bring up the ordeal they'd gone through yesterday. If it was enough to make her cry, it wasn't something that she wanted to think about. He'd learned that over the years they'd known each other. So to him, that had never happened...yet the bandages around her forearms weren't exactly hard to miss...

"How was you guys' dinner last night?" she asked him curiously, walking down the hallway with him, heading for their lockers. Richard just sighed and shook his head, starting to code in his combination. He was sick of talking about Babs, to be honest. But Kori didn't seem to notice. So he kept on. He had to make it seem like a real relationship. And in real relatioships, people get closer as time passes. So he looked at her and shrugged,

"Oh. It was pretty cool..." he said softly, opening his locker door and watching her slender hands push up the clasp of her locker and pull it open as well. She pulled out her thick Calculas book, and started putting it into her purple bag, looking up at him raising a brow in a questionable way,

"Just 'pretty good'?" she asked. He shrugged again and crinkled his nose up, the way that almost always made her smile. He slowly shook his head, furrowing his brows and looking her in the eye,

"Yeah...I don't know. Just a bad date."

_He says he's so in love,_

_He's finally got it right._

_I wonder if he knows,_

_He's all I think about at night._

"I'm sorry it didn't work out." she told him softly, after a slight pause, looking back up at him and offering him a small, but sweet smile. Richard just grinned at her and swallowed, shaking his head and looking down, his eyes falling to the book in his hand, then trailing back up to her, this head still pointing down,

"Nah...she's worth it, you know?" he said. Kori felt extremely saddened at what he'd told her, but still looked up and smile sweetly, slowly zipping her bag up all the way and gently slamming her locker door shut. Her eyes studied his for a moment before she swallowed the lump in her throat,

"You sound like you really like her." she said openly. He swallowed, trying to act as if they were talking about the actual girl of his dreams. He just looked up at Kori and nodded softly, folding his mouth down in a matter-of-fact smirk and swallowed,

"Yeah. I love her." he told her coolly. Kori could almost feel the tears form in her beautiful emerald orbs, stinging them with a shocked despair. Her heart sank slowly into the bottom of her shoes and shattered under the soles of her feet,

_He's the reason for,_

_The teardrops on my guitar,_

_The only thing,_

_That keeps me wishing,_

_On a wishing star,_

_He's the song,_

_In the car,_

_I keep singing,_

_Don't know why,_

_I do._

The beautiful redhead sat on her soft carpet, leaning into the corner of her room, clutching her pillow to her chest and crying into it softly. She was trying to be strong...trying to hide how much she loved him. Trying to hide how badly it hurt her to watch them together. To watch the sparks fly between them...it just hurt. It was slowly tearing her apart.

She loved him. She knew it with everything in her. Every cell in her body. Every once of her blood. But Babs made him happy. She should be happy too. But she didn't know what hurt more...not being able to have the man she loved...or the fact that he was happy with someone that wasn't her...

**W/Dick**

He lie on his bed, lost in thought, staring blankly at the picture on his bedside table. The picture was of him and Kori at the state fair. It was her first one and he had taken her to every ride and made her play every game. It was the most fun he'd had in his life. And it was with his best friend. With the girl he was in love with.

He was in love with his best friend. He'd known it since the day he'd met her. That was three years ago.

A loud and extremely strained groan escaped his lips as he swallowed lightly and looked up to the ceiling...he began counting the dots on it. Trying to pull himself out of his thought blunder. It didn't work of course, instead he turned back over and looked at the picture again. He didn't know how much longer he could keep it up...how much longer he could date Babs and have Kori as nothing but a best friend...he didn't know how long he could bare it...but it couldn't be for too much longer...he was driving himself mad...

_She walks,_

_By me._

_Can she tell,_

_That I can't breath?_

_And there she goes,_

_So perfectly._

_The kind of flawless,_

_I wish I could be._

It was in between second and thrid period and the halls were crowded with students rushing to get to class on time. Kori was no exception. She'd waited at Richard's locker for five minutes, waiting for him to meet her like they did every day. He never showed. She just began rushing to get to her class in time, hoping the bell wouldn't ring and totally catch her off guard.

She turned the corner and stopped suddenly in her tracks, so quickly, she almost fell over. She looked straight at her best friend, stading at Babs' locker, holding her by the waist. He leaned forward slowly and kissed her neck, pulling his lips away, but keeping his face rested there.

Kori swallowed gently, trying to hide the fact that she wanted to break right there and scream at him to just stop torturing her...yet as much as she wanted to do that, she just turned her face away, wiped away a tear and began walking to class, as the bell screamed in her ear.

_She better hold him tight._

_Give him all her love._

_Look in those icy blue eyes,_

_And know she's lucky,_

_Cause,_

"It's just, I love him so much, Rae...you know that!" Kori cried to her best friend, standing in the parking lot at lunch. Rachel put a gentle hand on her friend's shoulder and swallowed, feeling awful as she watched her friend in this situation. She nodded slightly, trying to catch the redhead's eyes, but failing miserably,

"Shh...yeah I do. But he's happy Kori, you know that." Rachel said matter-of-factly. Kori looked up at her friend, a tear sliding down her beautiful face, as she nodded reluctantly, swallowing and letting more tears fall, taking the other one's place. She looked her friend straight in the eyes and sobbed silently, shaking her head,

"I just...I don't know how much longer I can do this...I just...I don't want to do this anymore..."

_He's the reason,_

_For the teardrops on my guitar._

_The only thing that keeps me wishing,_

_On a wishing star._

_He's the song,_

_In the car,_

_I keep singing,_

_Don't know why,_

_I do._

He sat at home, staring blankly at his phone, he was trying to find a way to do this...he wanted to end things with Babs. Wanted her out of his life. Wanted to be free of her clingy nature. Free of her in general...but how would he do it.

He wanted to do it over the phone. Wanted her to know he was through with her. That he was serious. But what would his reason be? He couldn't have her hate him...taht could be bad, considering the fact that she's friends with all his friends, but...damnit, it wasn't fair...he didn't know what to do...

He picked up his phone and opened it, hitting the contacts tab of it, and scrolling down to her name...he swallowed and put his thumb on the send button, taking in a breath and pausing...he could do this. He could do this. He...couldn't do this. He growled loudly and threw his phone against the wall, collapsing onto his bed and shouting into the air.

_So I drive home alone,_

_As I turn out the lights._

_I'll put her picture down,_

_And wish I had her,_

_By my side._

He lie there silently, thinking about Kori. Thinking about all the things he liked about her...which is everything. Everything except the fact that she'll never love him the way he loved her. The way he loves her.

He swallowed gently and reached into his bedside drawer, pulling out a picture of her. Of them. It was his favorite one. It was of them on Halloween. She was dressed as a Gypsy. In an outfit similar to Jasmine's from Alladin. He was dressed as a pirate. Not original, but It was a last minute thing. He just grinned at it, looking her over on it...she was so beautiful.

He growled and banged his head down on his pollow, hating his situation with every cell in his body. He just wanted to scream. He wanted to let it all out. He hated this! He hated just being he r friend. Not being anything else. He hated having to pretend he was in love with someone else. Having to fake a relationship just to hide his feelings for her.

He hated the fact that if he asked her out...or if he told her how he felt...it could completely ruin their friendship. He hated having to think of her every night and day. Having her take up every one of her thoughts...he couldn't take it...

_She's the reason,_

_For the teardrops on my guitar,_

_The only one,_

_Who means enough to me,_

_To break my heart._

_She's the song,_

_In the car,_

_I've been I singing,_

_Don't know why,_

_I do._

She lie there, clutching the Halloween picture close, sobbing into the air. She wanted him to be hers. She wanted to be his girtfriend. Wanted him to love her. Wanted him to kiss her...wanted to be in his arms. She wanted to see him look at her the way he looked at Babs. Just once, she wanted to think he loved her...just once...but once was too many times...he loved Babs...and she was just a friend...

_He's the time,_

_Taking love,_

_But there's never enough,_

_And he's all that I want to fall into..._

That day at school, Richard began walking down the hallway, turning the corner and running into Babs. He softly swallowed and grinned at her, trying to act as though he were happy to see her. He reached forward and laced his fingers through hers, planting a light kiss on her lips, and pulling away.

They began walking to class like that, hand in hand, both grinning. One in love, one just pretending. They slowly turned the corner, heading in the direction of class.

Babs suddenly stopped dead in her tracks, stopping Richard too, and starting quietly to talk to her friend Jenny that she caught in the middle of the hall.

Kori turned the corner slowly, catching sight of her best friend...and his girlfriend. Richard looked up to see her staring at him and offered her a slight grin, waving lightly. Kori just swallowed and smiled back, looking from him to Babs, to him again, swallowing and turning around...she could take another hallway.

_Kay looks,_

_At me._

_I fake a smile,_

_So she won't,_

_See..._

XOXOXOXOXOX

Alright guys, so I think this is the last of the original songfics I still have on file, so…I hope you like it. I'll post an ALL NEW one soon, so ha! Lol…

Either way, please tell me what you thought!

Hope it was alright.


	6. If You Only Knew

Weeelllllllll….I started writing this songfic a very long time ago, and…to be honest, I completely forgot about it. I reread it earlier and…to be honest, I'm not too proud of myself for it. But seeing how this is my songfic library, and this is…indeed, a songfic…I feel the need to post this one.

So here you guys go!

This is one of my FAVORITE songs, and I hope y'all like it!

Flamers and Praise Welcome!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

He watched her walk out his door, a mask of fake, and very weak anger, painted across his handsome face… He knew that it was pride getting the best of him… He knew he didn't really want to see her go…But he couldn't force himself to utter the words that would make her stay… 'I love you" and "I'm sorry" just seemed like the hardest thing to say at that moment…though everything in him was trying to find the volume…to find the voice…but it was muffled by a tag team of his nerve…and his pride.

His icy blue eyes followed her as she fled to her car. It hurt him to see that she wouldn't turn around to even look at him…though he knew why… He'd seen the reasons a mere moment ago, as her beautiful eyes rimmed with the tears that broke his heart to see… The tears she always refused to let fall…refused to let him see… The tears he swore he'd never cause. Yet, here he was, watching her walk out on him for…who knows? …forever?

He wanted to stop her…he wanted to run out the door, down the driveway, and straight up to her… He wanted to stop her where she was and pull her into his arms, begging her to stay…swearing to change… Swearing to her that this'll never happen again… He wanted to stop her…to tell her he needed her more than anything in the world and…couldn't go on without her. Because he couldn't…

She was his world…she was everything he'd ever hung onto in the first place…all he wanted. All he needed…all of his everything. She was his entire universe, and he was standing there, watching her leave, and not doing a single thing about it. He knew it was stupid. And he knew that this was going to be the biggest mistake he'd ever made. He knew it before she even turned around to leave. He knew it as he tasted the cruel words slide of his tongue…

He knew that…once she was gone, he was nothing… He knew that he needed her more than anything… And as she pulled out of his driveway, he knew that he had just ruined any chance he'd had to make it better…

But worst of all… She was hurt because of him… And that killed him…

_If you only knew,_

_I'm hangin' by a thread, _

_The web, I spin for you._

He collapsed onto the ground, defeated. Reality was crashing on him so hard, he surely expected to crumble. He couldn't believe he'd just done what he had. He'd hurt her. He made her cry. And…he made her leave. And now…as if that weren't enough…she most likely hated his guts… Hated him for what he'd done to her… All the things he'd said… And…she wouldn't believe was that…he would _die_ to take back what had just happened. What he had just done…

Hell, he was currently trying to calculate how the hell he could live with himself as it was… He'd just hurt the one person he'd swore never to. He'd hit the lowest blows he could have…used things he promised her he'd never bring up…created more tears from her eyes than he could have ever imagined possible…and ruined her trust towards him…trust he wasn't ever going to get back…

He didn't want to lose her… He wanted to go to her house right now and just beg her to forgive him. He could even see the scenario playing out in his mind… Pulling her into his arms, kissing her. He could even play out her crying into him… Throwing her arms around him and holding him tight…telling him she wasn't mad anymore…telling him not to let go of her. Whispering her love for him. And him telling her it would all be okay. There was no doubt in his mind, that he would be willing die for that moment…but he knew it just wasn't in the cards..

_If you only knew, _

_I'd sacrifice my beating heart,_

_Before I lose you._

_I still hold on,_

_To the letters,_

_You return…_

_I swear I've lived,_

_And learned._

His cold eyes stared blankly at the ceiling… He hadn't been able to sleep since she left… That comfort wasn't there anymore… He didn't have her warmth pressed into him as she rested trustingly on his chest. He didn't have her heartbeat as his personal lullaby… He didn't have her breath to feel on his skin… The light heave of her chest that would rock him to sleep… The light weight that had secured him into his perfect comfort zone…

Without her, he couldn't get comfortable… Laying in that bed just felt wrong… Cold… Empty… He felt so vulnerable…so forgotten… And this unsettling feeling ate away at his sense of security… There was no one there to save him from the nightmares of his wrongdoing… No one to…make sure he woke up… Although, it was hard for him to sleep when he knew he wouldn't have her beautiful jade eyes there as the first thing he saw…

Without her, he had nothing to live for…without her he…was having trouble just making it through the day… He called her all the time, begging her to forgive…begging her to give him a second chance and take him back… He couldn't go on without her…he was slowly becoming an empty shell… His personality slipping away just like everything he loved…and she was the only remedy to his troubles…

_It's 4:03,_

_And I can't sleep,_

_Without you next to me,_

_I toss and turn,_

_Like the sea._

_If I drown tonight,_

_Bring me back to life._

_Breath your breath in me,_

_The only thing,_

_That I still believe in,_

_Is you…_

_If you only knew…_

Two weeks had passed and…he was still beating himself up for what he'd said to her… He couldn't believe the words that came out of his mouth… It didn't even sound like something he would say… Like it was a complete stranger who'd taken over his mind for a few moments… He…hated himself fiercely for it…

"**Why are you doing this, Richard? I am only trying to help you!" she told him softly, her eyes slightly watering at his stubbornness… It was extremely evident that she was worried…furiously worried… He wasn't the kind of person who would shut her out about anything… In fact, he was always extremely open with her. He told her everything… And he was getting steamed at her for trying to get him to vent… Though she could see that it was unbelievably **_**vital**_** by how closed up he'd been acting that he needed it…though according to him, she was pushing him past breaking point…**

"**Help? This is coming from the girl who'd completely given up and made me rush her to the fucking hospital, because you took three bottles of sleeping pills!" he'd screamed…though as the tears began falling down her hurt cheeks, Richard's face softened, and his eyes widened, almost rimming with tears as he'd realized what he'd just said… He'd remembered that fiasco… It was when they had first started dating and…he swore to her he'd never bring it up again… In fact, his promise played through his ears again… '**_**Shh…don't worry, sweetheart… No one has to know…and no one has to remember…' **_'_…promise?__**' 'I swear on my life…'**_

"…**I-I…" she couldn't even utter the slightest sound… she didn't know what to say…she was humiliated…she was…about to fall apart… And he was cussing himself out in his mind, he was ready to bang his head against the wall… He was furious at himself… He wanted to bash his own brains in… But…more importantly, he wanted to stop the tears from falling down her face…he wanted to take it back, but…he knew that wasn't in the cards… So instead, he reached forward to pull her into his arms and try and calm her tears…**

"**Shit, baby, I'm sorry, I-"**

"**Don't touch me…" she cut him off, taking a step back…it was only than that he noticed she was trembling… And he felt the tears start to fall from his eyes…he'd just ruined the best thing that had ever happened to him…**

_If you only knew,_

_How many times I counted,_

_All the words that went wrong. _

It had been about two weeks since Kori had walked out on him, though he still couldn't accept it… He found traces of her everywhere…whether it was, simply glancing at her side of the bed, seeing her favorite strawberry poptarts in the pantry, or her favorite shows coming on the tv… Though sometimes it didn't even take that…

Out of no where, in the middle of the day, he would hear her laugh… Or hear her voice whisper 'I love you'… Even if he was home alone, and the room was filled with silence… If he saw anything sweet, he remembered how sweet _she_ was… If he heard certain words, her face would pop into his head… He saw the color green, and he saw her eyes… Red, and he saw the curls of her hair… If he smelt vanilla, he thought of the body spray she'd used to use… If he had anything cherry, he tasted the lipgloss she wore…he remember the taste of it when he kissed her…

Every night, he slept with her pillow clutched tightly to his chest… He had three separate pictures of her on his bedside table… He played their song multiple times a day. He watched her favorite movie. He wrote her every day… No matter what he did…he couldn't get her out of his head…

_If you only knew,_

_How I refuse to let you go,_

_Even when you're gone…_

_I don't regret any days I spent._

_Nights we shared…_

_Or letters that I sent…_

His days had turned into more or less into episodes of the Twilight Zone. He hadn't slept (for more than an hour, if he was lucky enough to get that) in days. The state he was in, he wasn't really asleep…but he wasn't really awake. He was stuck in the zombie-like medium without any kind of thought pattern other than a heavy flow of memories and the basic of impulses. Majority of his logic was buried under his deep exhaustion. He played thoughts of Kori through his head day and night. Of course a lot of his mental notes were blurry and fill-in-the-blank type things. It's not that he didn't remember these things clearly…it was that…maybe if he thought them differently, he could change reality into…something better.

He tried to imagine that he apologized that day, instead of just letting her leave. He tried to imagine that she forgave him and came right back into his arms. He tried to imagine that she still trusted him with her life, and loved him more than anything. He tried so hard to imagine that things were back to the way they should be and that everything was okay… But he knew it wasn't the truth… All he could do was hope the continuous sleep deprivation would make everything seem that way… Maybe than, he could finally get some actual sleep…but than, what would happen? The entire process would start over again and he would be just as lost as he was to begin with…

At this point, he was starting to think along the lines of 'I have nothing left to live for.' …but there were a few things that kept him from fully giving up. One was…of course…Kori. Even if she didn't love him anymore, what would she think if he pulled a stunt like that? Two was…she had tried to end her life before…and the impact it had left on him was so grave, he nearly had an intense emotional breakdown because of it. He couldn't imagine leaving that kind of mark on everyone around him. How would Kori take news like that? That couldn't…be anything good. In fact…what if it would traumatize her to the point where she would do that same? No. Suicide wasn't an option. In fact…if anything, it seemed stupid and pointless.

He didn't have a bad life…not in the least. Quite the contrary. What he had was everything at his fingertips. He was able to get anything he wanted, materialistically…he had all the opportunities in the world. He had money. He had friends. He had a future. The only thing he didn't have was Kori… And that's the only thing he positively wanted. Without her…even with everything else he had in the world, he was nothing without her. He couldn't make himself do anything…he had no joy, drive, motivation…no anything. She was the only thing he needed in this world. And without her…he couldn't function. He couldn't sleep, couldn't move, couldn't eat… If it weren't for his best friend coming by daily, he would surely have starved to death by now.

_It's 4:03,_

_And I can't sleep,_

_Without you next to me,_

_I toss and turn,_

_Like the sea._

_If I drown tonight,_

_Bring me back to life._

_Breath your breath in me,_

_The only thing,_

_That I still believe in,_

_Is you…_

_If you only knew…_

_If you only knew…_

He lie there, lifelessly in his bed, staring up at his ceiling through the thick darkness of the night. There were tears stains stretched across both sides of his face, and he found it nearly impossible to breath through his nose. It was hard to keep his eyes open, yet…even when he tried, they wouldn't stay closed. He felt as if he were drowning…and there was only one person who could keep him from going under…the person he was never going to see again. What do you do when the only person who can help pull you back together is the one who ripped you apart? He didn't know what to do…he couldn't save himself…only she could…and she was letting him freefall into a seemingly endless abyss.

Gritting his teeth, he somehow manifested the effort to turn to his bedside table and take a bottle of sleeping pills into his hand. He needed sleep…he needed to find some kind of a way to rest and reboot…and if medication were the answer, than so be it. He popped four of the small blue pills, and tossed the bottle to the floor, returning to his previous position; lying flat on his back, staring blankly at the ceiling above him, lost in his troubles that swirled mercilessly around his head. A deep sigh slipped through his mouth, and he squeezed his eyes shut, grabbing his pillow, and taking it into his arms. He tried to visualize that it was Kori. And…with the meds…he was decently successful.

_I still hold on,_

_To the letters, _

_You return…_

_You helped me live and learn…_

He turned the keys forward he started the engine of his car, closing the door behind him and not even bothering to buckle up. He hadn't been able to fall asleep…even two and a half hours after taking pills, he was awake… But he had a solution. What he and Kori used to do when either of them used to have trouble sleeping… They would start the car and just drive…music, no music…it depended on their mood. Right now, he wanted it silent…he wanted to imagine the sound of her voice. He wanted to picture her beside him laughing and pointing out the funny license plates she saw. And he would…tonight was the night he would see her again. There was a fifth of vodka in the glove box…he never intended on using it, but tonight…just might be the night.

As disoriented he was from reality, he seemed to function just fine behind the wheel of his car. The headlights of the other cars and the sounds of their horns seemed to blur together…he couldn't make out the colors of the traffic lights…and he couldn't read any of the signs. But aside from that, nothing was out of the ordinary that trip. He was looking blankly at the road, swerving carelessly to avoid cars, and cruising 65 in a 35 zone. He wasn't sure where he was headed…he was driving by his straight instinct, without looking out for signs or directions and turning by his emotions. It was a strange feeling, driving without any thought…it was relieving and surprisingly enjoyable. For the first time in a long while, he felt free from his heartbreak prison. Releasing a heavy sigh, he switched gears and gained speed, turning a sharp corner, squeezing his eyes shut, and grinning at the cool power that was given to him by the carefree joyride. This…this felt good…

At least until he collided with a large black truck…

_It's 4:03,_

_And I can't sleep,_

_Without you next to me,_

_I toss and turn,_

_Like the sea._

"**Clear!" **came a deep, unfamiliar voice, followed by a startling jolt that ran through his body. He tried to open his eyes and view what had just hit him, but his eyelids ignored his command. He relaxed and slowly tried again…nothing was happening. Everything was dark…he wasn't even sure if he was breathing of not. He couldn't feel much of anything…was he laying down? Or standing? He tried to move his hands, but they wouldn't budge. He tried his feet…nothing. He couldn't turn his head…couldn't wiggle his fingers…couldn't open his mouth. Was he dreaming a blank dream? Perhaps he was asleep and didn't know it…maybe that's what it was.

He tried to think of where he had been before he was here…what had he been doing? He tried to visualize his previous surroundings…where had he been moments ago? He couldn't…remember. It felt like trying to remember a dream…it was right on the tip of your tongue, but you couldn't grasp it…

"**Clear!"** the same voice sounded. Richard was than hit with another hard jolt, making him jump slightly. He tried to cringe against the heavy pain, but his inability to move triggered him helpless. He almost began to panic…what was going on? What was wrong with him? He couldn't see. He couldn't move. Could he speak? He tried to scream…nothing… Nothing came out. He was about to try again before he felt something, almost undetectable, on his hand. He tried to move to grasp whatever it was that he was feeling…but by now…he was starting to feel dizzy. He was breathing, right? …but he felt as if he were kind of…fading….

"No…no, please…please!" came a voice…angelic…melodic… He Richard's heart soared for a moment…before his alertness began to fade even more…

"Alright, one more try…" sounded the first voice… "**Clear!**"

_If I drown tonight,_

_Bring me back to life._

_Breath your breath in me,_

_The only thing,_

_That I still believe in,_

_Is you…_

The air was rushing through his chest, refreshingly as he gasped for it. His eyes flew open and his senses slowly began returning…though he couldn't really find the necessary focus to acknowledge his surroundings… He tried looking around, but his vision was blurry and he couldn't make out any familiar sights… He coughed slightly, tasting something with a light metallic taste to it…

That's when reality rushed to him and he fully opened his eyes, forcing his vision to clear, and looking up, only to see the shape of…what looked like a redheaded angel sitting over him, clutching his hand tightly. It took a moment, before he realized it was Kori, sitting over him, holding his hand, sobbing softly as she looked down at him. Her face was painted with fear, and tears stained her unusually pale cheeks.

"Baby…I'm so sorry…" he muttered, the first chance he got to form some kind of volume. Though it didn't take any time at all for the beautiful girl to stop his apology with the squeeze of his hand and the shake of her head. A light smile slid across her face, and he read it perfectly… She didn't care… Not anymore… And she didn't… Yes, it still hurt her, but…she didn't really care anymore… He was alright… and that was the only thing she could comprehend at the moment…

She gently lifted his strong hand to his face and pressed it against her cheek, kissing the edge of it and looking him over in the strongest relief she'd felt in weeks… Richard took her action with weak eagerness, and stroked her face with his thumb, scraping away her terrified tears and cupping her cheek with all the care in the world… He wanted so badly to pull her into his chest…

"I love you…" he whispered, looking her over and pulling her towards him softly. She didn't have to be told twice. She could take a hint. She leaned down and brushed his lips with hers,

"I love you too…"

_Believe in you…_

_I still believe in you…_

_If you only knew…_

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Alright…how was it?

This is actually one of my favorite songs from…one of my favorite bands so…

I know a lot of the songfic was pretty much Dick whining about missing Kori, and whatever about that…but I still think I'm pretty ehhhh with this one…

But either way, I'd love to hear what y'all think!


	7. White Horse

Alrighty...this is a song that I'm quite fond of. And I just sat here one day and related to it...thought about it...and of course, had to twist it into a little Kori/Richard...but voila. This is the finished product. A little non-fiction, and a bit more not. Love you guys.

It may seem a little rushed...but I work almost eleven hours tonight, and have a lot to do tomorrow, so I tried getting it finished this morning...and succeeded. I just hope it's not too rough.

Please read and review.

Flamers and Praise welcome!

XOXOXOXOXOX

Her day was moving at the pace of a disabled slug, it seemed...and the 'sitting in a trail of slime' feeling wasn't too far off from the way her emotions were spinning around her. You'd think he would've learned to clean up a little better by now... Oh well...she didn't know why it still hurt her anymore. She'd thought she had gotten used to his shanannigans by now... Though the tears that were poking sharply at her reddened eyes never failed to prove her wrong. She was stuck in a circle-shaped rut, and only wearing it down even further. Her love for him was the thing that fueled her steps...that kept her going her going...and kept her from giving up on him. Though his constant cheating and lies...sneaking around...playing games with her... He did just about everything that a boyfriend never should. And yes, here she was. Sticking around even though she had begun to question things so very long ago.

"Kori, you've got a delivery." her friend-slash-coworker called to her from the front room of the office. They had been working together here about five and a half years now, and had developed a friendship. Granted, it wasn't the kind of bond that welcomed or granted the comfort of telling each other everything, which is what was making Kori drag her heels. She was pretty sure she knew who this 'delivery' was from, and to be honest, she wasn't really in the mood to pretend she was happy in her relationship today. Still, she put on a brave face and rose to her feet, trying to force excitement into her expression as she began in that direction.

Down the flowery-wallpapered hallway, through the white wooden door, and into the grand, creme-colored room, stopping to make a mental comment of her dislike for the décor in this building (even though she did this usually every day). Still, she faked a smile as she came into view of her blonde friend, otherwise known as Terra...where she spotted a bouquet of bright red-and the occasional white-roses in a gorgeous blue vase.

"How sweet..." Terra spoke softly, as she handed Kori the lovely arrangement with glistening envy on her face. Fighting back the urge she had to tell her friend to just keep em, the redhead thought for a moment, looking the flowers over, and hearing his voice in the back of her head, apologetic, of course. He will tell her what he did was a mistake, that he wishes he could take it back, and that she means a great deal more to him than whatever he was apologizing for at the time. This was almost always followed by a promise that it would never happen again. He would never use the 'L' word though. It was as if something about those four little letters petrified him. She'd always respected that. He didn't feel comfortable saying it, she wasn't going to try making him. To each his own, she always said. But she couldn't shake her situational exhaustion... She'd put up with everything for so long, and she was really starting to get worn down... To the point, even, that her smile faded, and a sigh freed itself from her lips.

"Yeah, he knows how to be perfect when he wants to." she muttered, softly, as she picked the vase up gently and began walking it over to her desk.

_**Say you're sorry,**_

_**That face of an angel,  
Comes out just,**_

_**When you need it to…**_

Her footsteps carried her from one side of her office to the other as she tried (and failed) desperately to clear her head. She knew her situation wasn't the end of the world, so she felt dumb for letting it bother her this much. She constantly told herself 'it's just a relationship' yet her subconscious would successfully remind her that it's with the man she loved more than anything in the world. And when she would reply to that with; 'but he doesn't love me back, and relationships need to be a two-way street' the annoying voice in the back of her mind told her that he's proven many times that he strongly cares about her and that she's the only girl he actually calls his girlfriend. She was trapping herself without even wanting to, and didn't know what to do about it. She was going to get hurt either way... If she left him, she would surely miss him for a long while. But if she stayed with him...she'd have him. But she's also have all his lies and games...and continue having her trust broken.

How long could she keep this up? He promised her _every_ time he hurt her that he would do better and that it would never happen again. They'd kiss and make up, and he'd give her so many words that would tell her everything would get better... But his words were always so empty. And she was always so gullible. How did he always get her to believe him? Kori had always been the kind of girl who is guarded about who she trusts. She had the kind of outlook on things like...no matter how well she knew a person, or how great she could feel with them, she always thought that there could be another side of them that they're keeping from you. Her friend, Rachel, found it respectable. To just about everyone else, she was too heavily guarded. Either way, she was the way she was. The only point to bringing that up, was to express that Richard always had a way of just making her guard shatter like none other. He didn't have to give any effort. He didn't have to consciously pry. He just simply had a way about him that made her trust him…whether her best judgment agreed or not.

How did he always manage to get her to let him in? How did he unravel her without any kind of visible attempt?

She couldn't, for the life of her, figure it out. It was like a splinter festering in her hand. She couldn't see it, couldn't reach it, but there it was, irritating and picking at her…and not letting up. What was it about him? She knew he'd had a reputation when they first got together. Though something inside of her got her to believe that he was going to be different when it came to her. He promised her many things. And she always believed him. Was it his smile? His eyes? The way it felt when he wrapped his arms tightly around her? What was it that always seemed to make him…perfect, even when she knew he wasn't? She couldn't wrap her head around it… She knew relationships were work. But she didn't think it would be this hard.

The part that hurt that most was that she honestly **trusted **him… It didn't matter what everyone else said. It didn't matter what he did to her. All his lies. All his stories. All his mistakes. None of them meant anything to her. Because she believed in him. She trusted him. She let herself believe him…she let herself open up to him. She let him in. And I know all this sounds incredibly repetitive. But she gave put over a year of her life into this…thousands of tears…and every emotion she could. She couldn't understand what was wrong with her. What about her was so flawed that she always let herself hold onto his words? It didn't matter…she trusted him…and it made her feel like this. And she didn't know what to do about it. She knew what she _should_ do…but she didn't know what she could.

_**As I paced back and forth,**_

_**All this time,  
'Cause I honestly,**_

_**Believed in you…**_

Her vivid jade eyes studied the beautiful-and likely, very expensive-floral arrangement that settled gently on the edge of her work desk. She was kicking herself…because she was the only person she could blame. Every ounce of pain that was coursing through her was her fault. She knew from the very beginning, that this wasn't a good idea. She knew that it wasn't going to work out, because of who they were. It was doomed for failure. But she was so indescribably drawn to him...and he promised her so many ways that it could happen. She believed all the things he told her. She believed in him, inevitably...and here she was...in a marry go round of lies and cheats...she'd torn down her wall for him, and he'd infiltrated her with his army of deception. ...and she could only blame herself.

She growled lightly, and fought the tears that were rimming in her eyes. Reaching forward, she took the vase and slid it/flung it roughly into the trash can, listening to the slight shattering that it experienced when it hit. For a moment, there was a flash of satisfaction that swept across her face, but it quickly faded as she felt the tear begin to roll down her cheek. Why? Why hadn't she just expected it? Why did it still surprise her? And why did she let him fool her again?

_**Holding on,**_

_**The days drag on,  
Stupid girl,**_

_**I should have known.  
I should have known…**_

She wanted to believe that when she saw him tonight, that she'd be able to end it, like she'd tried so many times before...but looking at the pictures on her desk, she grew less and less sure. Her eyes danced across the memories that they had... There was one of the time he took her to the beach on her birthday to surprise her. It was her first time seeing the ocean...and he, of course, bought her a new bikini to go with the trip...she smirked...likely more to benefit him, than her. But that was one of the best weekends of her life...until she caught him flirting with the lifeguard the following morning. That took away a lot of the fun out of it for her...

But there was another one of them at Victor's (a friend of theirs) Halloween party last year. She had dressed as a cop, and he was dressed as a criminal. Bright orange jumpsuit...fake cuffs...she remembered everyone laughing as she pretended to 'frisk' him as they arrived. But of course...that night he got hammered, and hooked up with Barbara Gordan-his ex...for the third time since the Kori had been dating him.

But there was a picture that he took when she had just gotten over the flu, a couple of months ago... She remembered that day clear as day... She was feeling embarrassed about her nose being red from the leftover side effects of her sickness. It was when she stepped out of the shower, and into her robe, that he snuck up behind her and pulled her into his arms. He had a camera in hand, and had stretched it out in front of them to capture a shot of them together...only he had clicked it just as he kissed her neck, so she was making the silliest face. He had insisted on her putting it on her desk when he got it developed. But of course...it couldn't remain perfect... She found out a week later that he had been sleeping with their friend, Terra, when she was sick...in fact, she remembered being devastated, because of how much it meant to her at the time that he was so understanding about her not feeling good.

Kori swallowed the lump in her throat as she looked them over again and again...there was one of them at a Christmas party...one of them with his adopted father, when he brought her home to meet him...one of her on the swings with her nephew...well, that one didn't count. But...looking at every photograph...she came to the realization that they were all fake...broken...ruined. Each one of them had a story behind it...but every single one had a story behind the story that took away the sentimentality that it originally possessed. For every smile in the frames, there were twice as many tears to match.

She took a deep breath and shoved them all off her desk, and into the trash, falling back into her chair and hiding her face in her hands.  
_  
__**I'm not a princess,**_

_**This ain't a fairy tale.  
I'm not the one,**_

_**You'll sweep off her feet,  
Lead her up the stairwell.**_

**_This ain't Hollywood,._**

_**This is a small town.  
I was a dreamer,**_

_**Before you went,**_

_**And let me down.**_

_**Now it's too late,**_

_**For you and your white horse,**_

_**To come around.**_

It was the end of the day and she was on her way home...but all she could think about was how stupid she was. (Of course...not to say that she was. There was nothing stupid about her...though unfortunately, there was nothing strong enough to keep her from believing that.) But she couldn't understand it... How? How did she not see this was going to happen again? ...looking back to the last time she caught him cheating, and remembering how she'd stared so hopefully into his eyes...how did she not see the deception that rippled through them? How did her bullshit radar not go off? How did he trick her again?

_**Baby I was naive,**_

_**got lost in your eyes,  
And never really had a chance.**_

She had to pull over, because tears were blurring her eyes to the point she couldn't see. She felt like the biggest idiot this side of Gotham...she just never figured she would have had to EARN his main attention... She was finally done wondering why she was so inadequate on the scale of what he needed. She was finally done wondering what she did wrong that every other girl who slipped through their bed had done so right. All the countless hours that she'd spent wondering why she wasn't enough for him...all the times she cried herself to sleep because she couldn't figure out why he always had to go elsewhere for satisfaction... And of course...all the pain that he put her through... She was ready to throw it all out the window and let it go.

It didn't matter to her anymore. Well...that was a lie...it did matter. Because it still hurt. But she wasn't going to give it another minute longer. She would've done absolutely anything to make him happy... She would've sold her soul just to give him a good day. She would've given him anything he asked for...don't anything for him...and taken a bullet, if it simply meant he wouldn't have to experience something he didn't want to. She gave him all of her...and she never held back-though his actions always left her wondering what she forgot or failed at-...and she truthfully meant that he was everything she needed. She was ideally the perfect girlfriend...and he had taken her for granted one too many times.

She was done fighting to satisfy him. She was sick of trying to discover ways to spice up their romantic 'relations' so that he wouldn't...so that he didn't get bored with her, as terrible as it sounded. She never got mad at him for forgetting important things...never yelled at him or nagged when he did something that hurt her... She always fought so hard to be one step ahead. Every day she went above and beyond to make his life easier...to make it luxurious...to make him happy. …..and every day, he took it for granted. But this was it...she was done. Done with it all. ...she was finally giving up, fighting a battle that she couldn't possibly win.

_**My mistake,**_

_**I didn't know to be in love,**_

_**You had to fight,**_

_**To have the upper hand.**_

_**I had so many dreams,**_

_**About you and me.  
Happy endings,**_

_**Now I know…**_

She walked through the door of the home they shared, exhausted, and almost numb from head to toe. A sigh escaped her lips, but the sound of her entry triggered the attention of her handsome boyfriend, who began making his was towards her as if on a timed cue. She saw him and flashed a faint 'hello' smile. She was answered with him wrapping his arms around her and kissing her neck...and it took all of her to keep from getting lost in the sensations.

"Hey baby, how was your day?" he asked, sweetly. ...it figures. He's acting as if absolutely nothing was wrong...but why did she expect anything different? Her eyes weakly trailed up to meet his.

"Richard, I really need to talk to you." she began...though, in her head, she was already starting to count all the reasons...

_**I'm not a princess,**_

_**This ain't a fairy tale.  
I'm not the one,**_

**_You'll sweep off her feet,  
Lead her up the stairwell._**

**_This ain't Hollywood,_**

_**This is a small town.  
I was a dreamer,**_

_**Before you went,**_

_**And let me down.**_

_**Now it's too late,**_

_**For you and your white horse,**_

_**To come around.**_

The gravity of her words had pierced his hard, and he was trying his absolute damnedest to comprehend what went wrong so quickly. He had decided to surprise her by ordering their favorite take-out...and yes, bought her a new 'outfit' for the bedroom...but he thought it would be a romantic evening between the two of them...yet, the past two minutes told him something entirely different. He looked her over again and again, unable to utter a sound...had he heard her right? No...he couldn't have...but he looked her in the eye, furrowed his brows, and shook his head in confusion.

"Kori, what-…you're ending it? We've been together almost two years." he began, already beginning to plan the speech he would use to settle her nerves and get her to stay with him. She, on the other hand was just _waiting_ for the bullshit to start flying. She shook her head and looked him over, feeling slightly hurt by his words,

"Have we? …I've been yours for two years. But you've been…whose?" she asked him, her eyes rimming with tears. ...subconsciously, there was a parade of faces strutting through her mind, answering her own question. She cringed lightly at the thought of just how many there were, and began nervously pulling at the hem of her shirt (as she did when she was nervous). Richard, on the other hand, shook his head fiercely and waited for her eyes to meet his before he answered her.

"Yours! Kori, I know I've made mistakes, but I can do better! I can change!" he exclaimed...and she took a step back...she hadn't been ready for such a convincing tone. But she was determined to stand her ground in this. She looked up at him hesitantly and shook her head,

"I really…don't know if I believe that anymore."

_**And there you are,**_

_**On your knees.**_

"I don't want to share you anymore… And I shouldn't have to. I've always given you all of me. I never held back…I never wronged you…I was always all in. And I'm fine with that. That's the way I want it to be. But it's got to go both ways." she told him...though the entire time she was speaking, she acknowledged that she had already said all of this to him before. Perhaps not in such a distasteful tone...but she had told him this...that he needed to give her a fraction of what she did him. But now...it wasn't until now that she was threatening to leave him...that he actually listened...that he actually took it to heart.

"Than…I'll take off time from work. And we can go somewhere. Spend some time together. I'll open up. I won't keep anything from you anymore. I'll let you in. I'll tell you everything!" he pleaded, his eyes rimming with tears... He suddenly felt a strong wave of guilt wash over him as he looked her over...and for the first time ever, he **saw** the pain that he had caused her. But she shook her head,

"It's too late for that…" she managed. Richard's heart sank...no...he couldn't lose her. He knew he couldn't lose her...and...hell, maybe he'd always known... But the site of the pain on her face...the site of her wanting to leave him...and the feelings bubbling up inside of him...he couldn't take it. Viciously, he shook his head at her,

"Don't say that…Kori, please…**I love you!**"

_**Begging for forgiveness,**_

_**Begging for me,**_

"Do you…? How can I know that…? How do you expect me to just…believe you? I understand how you are about your emotions. And I've never tried to change that, or pry. But now…out of all the times you could've…why now?" she asked. There was almost no energy left in her to get the words out. She was tired. Of this. Of him. Of everything. She didn't believe him. She didn't trust him. And she didn't want to...she was finally strong enough to come to reality, and pull it into the open. And he wasn't talking her out of it. Not this time.

"Because you're telling me that you want to leave me!" he told her, in desperate attempt to make her slow down so h could convince her into giving him another chance. But the bitter smirk swept across Kori's lips,

"So you're…just saying it?" she asked...already knowing the answer to his question...or thinking she did. Because for the first time since they'd gotten together, he was opening up to her and telling her nothing but the truth... But...she wouldn't be able to see it even if she wanted to. All the deceit that he fed her over the years finally took its tole...and finally made him start regretting it. He shook his head and fell to his knees, not caring who saw, as he let the tears fall freely,

"No, Kori, of course not! Look at me…I love you. I really really do love you…I'm sorry I haven't said it before. I know I should have… But please don't leave me… I'll do better. I'll be faithful. NO more lies…I'll be yours and no one else's. I…I love you…please." he begged...that's right...begged. But she just mustered the courage to bring volume to her words.

"You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that…" she mumbled weakly, signaling the light flash of a smile on his face. But she looked away, a tear starting its journey down the side of her face... Finally, he seemed to understand...finally... But like every other time...how did she know it wasn't the usual routine? She swallowed the sob that was edging its way up from the back of her throat, and looked at him.

_**Just like I always wanted,**_

_**But I'm so sorry…**_

Her hands were shaking violently as she re-hooked the clasp of the necklace he had given her, and handed it back to him. He took it in his trembling grasp and looked up at her in disbelief...his face painted in tears, and his guard finally lowered further than it would go. Of course he would finally wear his heart on his sleeve, she thought bitterly... Now...of all times, is when he finally decided to show her what she had needed to see all along. But it didn't matter...she was going to be strong... So despite her tears, she held her head high,  
_  
__**Cause I'm not your princess**_**,**

_**This ain't a fairytale.  
I'm gonna find someone,**_

_**Someday,**_

_**Who might actually treat me well.**_

**_This is a big world,_**

_**That was a small town,  
There in my rear-view mirror,**_

**_Disappearing now._**

**_And its too late,_**

_**For you and your white horse.  
Now its too late,**_

_**For you and your white horse,**_

_**To catch me now**_

And as he watched her climb into her truck, tears in his eyes...she felt suddenly free. Maybe she'd lost the only man she'd ever loved..but for once, there was nothing holding her back. She was free...nothing in her way but open road, a blue sky, and a fresh start.

_**Oh,  
Try and catch me now.  
It's too late.**_

_**To catch me now**_

XOXOXOXOXOX

So there you go. A little saddening, don't y'all think? I just broke up with MY boyfriend, so it seemed utterly appropriate...lol.

Please tell me what you thought.


	8. Cold

Okay...so...voila. New songfic.

Based on true events.

::Cold::Crossfade::

Please read and review.

Flamers and Praise welcome!

XOXOXOXOXOX

It all made sense to him...it all finally made sense. All the tears she cried...all the fights...the pain in her eyes when she begged him to hear her out... He'd always had it explained in his head that she was simply being unreasonable. Overreacting. Being over dramatic-she was a woman after all. She'd always been so easy for him to blame...even when she'd done nothing wrong, he was good at twisting and contorting for the sake of preserving his mental innocence. How? She was his angel...he'd always known that. How could he use her the way he did? As his scapegoat? In the heat of the moment, pride and rage made it so effortless. And he always regret it. Bought her flowers, as if that made up for everything. It never did. She'd smile and forgive him, but it never did.

Looking at all of it...playing last Friday through his head, and actually offering it elaboration...the more he thought about it, the more real and intense her pain became to him... she wasn't crying because he was yelling, or he discovered what her sister did. She was crying because she had been valued beneath everything in question. In his mind, she meant the world to him...he never doubted that... But when the shit hit the fan, he didn't ever hesitate. She was the first thing he was willing to compromise. And the worst part...? This wasn't the first time this had happened.

...far from it.

Was it because he knew she'd never give up on him? Maybe...because he knew she'd always be there or take him back; he wasn't so worried about hurting her feelings. It was stupid.. It was wrong. On many levels. How many unnecessary tears has he made her cry, for the sake that he knew she wouldn't leave him for it...? Or because he was angry and just needed to take it out on someone. He was comfortable with her...so she's his punching bag. As sick, wrong, and pathetic as it was. No matter how much he swore it wouldn't happen again, it did. For some reason, it was reflex for him to throw her under the bus.

He never thought about it-just did it...because he knew she'd still be there. She'd never leave him.

But...there was a first thing for everything.

_Looking back at me, _

_I see, _

_That I never really got it right. _

_I never stopped to think of you. _

_I'm always wrapped up, _

_In things I cannot win._

Could she really be gone this time? No...he didn't want to accept it. She'd stood by him for so long. All the years of his fights with Bruce that she'd either comfort him through, or help him see the light. Whenever he'd wake from nightmares of his past, she'd be there to hold him tight and assure him that everything would be okay. Any time he stumbled, she'd help him stand. When he drank _way_ too much at parties, she'd stay up with him all night...hold the bucket...make him keep hydrated. And of course, nurse him back to health the next day.

Hell, the more he thought about it, the more she was there for him. She had faith in him...no matter what anyone else thought or said. All the bad things he'd done in his lifetime, and...she still only looked at the good. He'd kick himself, and she'd put a band-aid on it and kiss it. She was the kind of girl who found something for him to love about himself...and insisted he did, even when he thought he couldn't. She brightened his every day...warmed his every night. She actually made him want to live. Which was something no one else could say...

To be honest, there was absolutely NO ONE like her. Kori was an angel. She was the perfect combination of shy and friendly. Of sugar and spice. There was innocence in her deviousness, in the strangest way. She was the girl who got along with everybody...and she was so considerate. She almost never went to see him without bringing _something_ with her. Be it cigarettes, dinner, or even just a soda. She'd surprise him with a candy bar in his mailbox...give him back rubs late at night. Anything-if she thought it would make him happy-she would do it.

No other girl cared like that. No other _person_ cared like that. She was the first girl he opened up-in every way-to. All his darkest secrets. His sins. His flaws. Yeah...he was the kind of guy to brag about his past criminal record...but the personal things he was ashamed of...even his single deepest, darkest secret...he'd confided in her...and she just...accepted it. Never brought it up again...and never looked at him any differently.

She made him feel valuable. Important. Needed...by her. And to be needed by such an incredible person... Well, that gave him purpose all in itself.

_You are the antidote, _

_That gets me by. _

_Something strong, _

_Like a drug, _

_That gets me high. _

It played back all the time...the rage in his blood. The tears in her eyes...and the light trembling of her gentle hands.

"Babe, I didn't know!" she'd cried, after he'd finally finished screaming and interrogating her.

"Get **OUT**!" he shouted, as he opened the door and stared her down in hostility. Shaking and crying her eyes out, she obeyed. Walked through the door, painfully. She wasn't even fully through it before he slammed it shut behind her.

He'd found an e-mail in her phone from her sister about threatening to call the cops and report him. She had apparently overheard a conversation on the phone between the couple, where Dick was angry at her for _something_. Since than, she'd deemed him 'emotionally abusive' and was 'fed up with it'. The email had been unread, so it was likely she was telling the truth about not knowing anything about it. But...it was on her phone. It was her sister. He was furious that someone would threaten him, and he needed someone to blame...

Maybe he _did_ have warrants. Maybe he _didn't_ treat her right. And yeah, maybe he'd sent Kori's sister an antagonizing text the day before. Maybe she _was_ completely innocent... But he needed someone to blame.

And old habits die hard.

_What I really meant to say, _

_Is I'm sorry, _

_For the way I am. _

_I never meant to be so cold. _

_I never meant to be so cold. _

_What I really meant to say, _

_Is I'm sorry, _

_For the way I am. _

_I never meant to be so cold. _

_I never meant to be so cold. _

'It'll never happen again.' ...yeah, right. How many times had he promised her that?

'I won't take it out on you next time.'

'I'll try and be nicer.'

'I'll treat you better.'

'I'll be the man you deserve.'

He had promised her so many things...and when he made them, he really did mean them. It was a mystery-even to him-why his word was never kept... He knew he'd been chipping away at her trust over time...slowly, but surely. He just always promised himself that he'd make it up to her. He just hadn't expected her to leave...

It was hard to picture himself without her...was it real? Maybe it was just some nightmare of his subconscious, guilt-tripping him over his past cruelties. Perhaps he'd wake up in the morning, and see her smiling face... Maybe, just maybe. There was no getting about-he needed her in his life. But if this was a dream...it had to be the longest one in history...

_Cold to you, _

_I'm sorry about all the lies. _

_Maybe in a different light, _

_You can see me stand, _

_On my own again. _

He loved her. It wasn't like there was any doubt about that, whatsoever. That was the thing. He always missed her when she was away. He wanted her by his side every minute he could manage. He always felt bad when he hurt her-whether he acted like it or not. And he loved making her smile. If he could bring an upward curve to her lips just once...he was set in a great mood for the entirety of the day. Something about her when she was happy...it was contagious...warm...intoxicating...comforting. It just made him want to be...better.

She really was amazing to him. Never in his life had he felt the way he did when he was with her. He'd had a lot of girlfriends...a lot of girlfriends. But she was different. She had fought for a spot in his life. And not only that; she genuinely cared. She wasn't like all the girls who drooled over him and liked him purely for his looks. She made him work for it more than any of them-but she made it more than worth his while. No other girl had the right to say that. There was a natural ease with her. And something about her was just...sacred. Precious.

He'd said it before...she was his angel.

_You are the antidote, _

_That got me by. _

_Something strong, _

_Like a drug, _

_That got me high. _

Four days, going on five, and still not a word from her. It was more than out of the ordinary... And it was beginning to weigh him down with worry. Usually in this instance, she would take a day-if that-or sometimes two, and just be hurt. Listen to her sad playlist that she'd put together after a month of dating him...maybe shed a few tears, depending how ugly it had been. Than he'd give in to his regret and text, call, or if he felt really bad; send her a message on Facebook. Sometimes he apologized, others he acted like nothing had happened...sometimes he'd give a romantic spiel-occasionally accompanied by roses-and others, he'd simply ask if she was still upset with him.

Whatever approach he took; she always accepted it. Reasoned it was just a rage swing-not his fault. Or sometimes, she knew he was just an irrational asshole, but forgave him simply because she wanted him in her life. He didn't deserve it. They both knew it. But it had become their routine. It was just '_them_.'

With a heavy sigh, Dick ran his fingers through his hair. It stung. He'd called. Twice. Even left a voicemail-which was extremely out of the ordinary for him. He'd sent her texts...Facebook messages...which she read, and just ignored. He wrote her a letter and slipped it under her door...as you may have guessed, that went unanswered too. He was getting desperate. It took him every ounce of self restraint he had, not to just show up at her door-and he would've if the risk of her sister answered the door wasn't so critical.

He was strung out. He just wanted five minutes to apologize and ask-no, _beg_ for another chance. He was sorry. Genuinely sorry...but of course...he'd meant it every time before too...

_What I really meant to say, _

_Is I'm sorry, _

_For the way I am. _

_I never meant to be so cold. _

_I never meant to be so cold. _

_What I really meant to say, _

_Is I'm sorry, _

_For the way I am. _

_I never meant to be so cold. _

I never meant to be so cold.

"I'm done! You shut the door this time!" he remembered screaming... "My life was just fine, until you came along!" ...bullshit. Before her, he didn't even have a life. He slept around, stole, and did drugs just to get through the day. He couldn't keep a job. Wouldn't be nice to anyone-even family. She opened him up. He made it difficult, but she took a chisel and torch to the ice around his heart. Made him...human. Now he had a job. Now he was clean. Now he earned everything that came to him. Hell, now he actually said 'I love you' to his sister. She saved him...no doubt about it.

He flipped the table in rage...headbutt her when she tried to hug and/or kiss him in attempt to calm him. He told her how 'fucking stupid' she was. (even if she _was_ one of the most intellegent people he knew)

'I don't even see anything good in you anymore' he had said...

'You just **drain** me, emotionally.'

...and even through her tears, she tried reasoning with him.

'Please just tell me what changed your mind.' -in regards to trying to resolve their confusing ordeal... For a moment, he had actually been reasonable about the whole ordeal. But the rage in his eyes confirmed that the 'moment' was gone.

'Nothing changed my mind. I just don't want to waste any more of my life with a piece of shit conformist.' and if that wasn't bad enough, 'I'll find myself a woman who actually likes to life!' ...which he knew got under her skin above all else. Telling her he'd just find someone else. Telling her how fucking replaceable she was... But this argument was different. Never had he been quite _this_ cruel. Right now, he was going straight for the throat. Trying to hit the lowest blow he could to an exposed nerve.

'Richard, please just calm down and _talk_ to me.' ...she really was trying hard that night...

'I am calm, you fucking bitch! God, you're so fucking stupid. That, or you lack common sense. Probably both. I hope you enjoy hell.'

_I never really wanted you to see, _

_The screwed up side of me, _

_That I keep locked inside of me, _

_So deep. _

_It always seems to get to me. _

All he needed to do was take a minute to calm down before reacting... That's what they'd even agreed on with their last break up. If you get angry, just take a breather. **He** was the stupid one...not her.

'I don't need you anymore!' Oh...he saw just how deep that one had cut her... the instant shift in the brightness of her eyes. The way her mouth went flat, but opened slightly in surprise. The twitch in her brows. Of course...he kept telling her how stupid she was. Called her a bitch. A conformist...just broke her down piece by piece.

Truth be told, it was meant to be a 'reverse psychology' maneuver. He thought if her pushed her away, she'd want to stay even more-which worked on him easily. But remember what he'd already said? She was different... All her did with her was...just that. The harder he pushed, the further she went...until-for the first time-she really seemed to be gone...

Why? Why couldn't he have just swallowed his pride and asked her not to go..? Why would that have been so hard? Or that the reason he wouldn't let her pick up her t-shirts from his apartment was because he needed something of hers...not because he was being an asshole. But...how was she possibly supposed to know that? ...he played it through his head again and again. All those cruel things he said... Sometimes, he just wished above all that she could read his mind...though he knew she came closer to being able to than anyone else.

Truth be told; she knew what he was doing when he pulled this on her. She knew his tells. The way he put her down in hopes that she'd pick herself up...but it didn't work like that. He was the soul person she let her guard down around... to her, he was where she went for protection. He was the only person she ever let help her, or even allowed to see her struggling. She was most vulnerable around him. And she always assumed he knew that...there was doubt...but if there was any observation, he certainly should know... But even if he didn't, no matter the motives, those are never things you say to the person you love. Trying to hurt them-no matter what they do-is just...it's never okay.

Kori had a past like a horror movie...yet even with that being said...she'd shed more tears because of him, than she had throughout her entire life...

_I never really wanted you to go. _

_So many things,_

_You should have known. _

_I guess for me, _

_There's just no hope. _

_I never meant to be so cold. _

"**Please**, Kori, just open the door!" he begged, as he stood on her doorstep. This was it. Composure was lost...pride thrown out the window. This was his chance... Because he just couldn't take it anymore.

Her bedroom light was on...he knew she was there. And he wasn't about to give up. She had to answer eventually. She was likely avoiding answering the door because she always loses her nerve when they're face to face. She always gives in and takes him back when she sees him...and that's what he was counting on.

With a partially scared/partially impatient sigh, he lifted his hand to try knocking again...but that was the same time he heard the lock click. Hope raced through his veins...and silent as nothing else, he froze, and looked forward in anticipation...until Kori's sweetly familiar face appeared.

"It's three in the morning." was all she said...her tone lifeless and cold...but he knew it was just what she did when she was vulnerable. Hide all emotion and dress in a suit of apathy...it was her mask. And he was taking it as a good sign, for his sake.

"We both know you were awake." he began, "And I need to talk to you. Apparently phone, Facebook, and letters aren't working. You've gotta talk to me eventually. How else do you plan to get through this?" perhaps it wasn't as heartfelt as he'd hoped for it to be, but...he still knew her well. The truth worked best with her...and at the moment, there was no brain-mouth filter whatsoever. His heart was on his sleeve.

...but the redhead took a step back and shook her head.

"Richard...I am so..._exhausted_. I really...can't do this anymore. There's no fight left in me..." something in her voice made him take a metaphorical step back. There was something in her tone...something shaky...weak...but resolved. He took a moment to trace his eyes over every inch of her face...there had to be a tell. Something to assure him she was just trying to be tough. _Trying_ to stand her ground when they both knew she would fall for his soon-to-be empty promises, and take him back. By now, it was...a sure thing. He just needed to do what he always did... It was that simple, right? Grovel for a moment, and get his angel back...

It took a moment to process this through his head, but eventually, a very leveled expression took over his face,

"Kori, it's not like that... I didn't mean all those things... By pushing you away, I thought-"

"I know what you did. But it just...you're pushing me away didn't work in its reverse intent, like you planned. It really just...pushed me away." the pain in her voice was beginning to show through, making his stomach to an unsettling backflip.

Okay...she was upset. And she had every right to be. But it's been over a year and a half...she never left for good. She was the kind of girl who was set in stone to keeping her word. ...And once upon a time, she'd promised him that she wouldn't give up on him... It was safe to say, he used that to his advantage many times. But it was just...more of a fail-safe in his mind. She wasn't going anywhere.

"Kori-"

"Please get off my porch." she spoke in a short drone. He blinked... It took a moment to comprehend what she'd said, but when it processed...he found it hard to take her seriously.

"Come on, babe-"

"Leave." she cut him off sharply... He wouldn't budge.

"Baby, come on...how else are we gonna work this out?" he asked, furrowing his brows and offering her a confused shrug. ...but a light smile graced her lips and a sarcastic scoff slipped through,

"You just don't get it, do you?" she asked...and all he could do was wait and listen, like a dog after hearing his name called...head cocked slightly to the side, blank expression, and just...anticipation. "There's no working this out. I can't take it anymore. You think your charm can outweigh your wickedness? Richard, it's not enough anymore. I love you. But you're...you're just not worth the fight anymore." she said, looking away, and swallowing the lump that formed in her throat. ...those words had been harder to say than she had expected...but she had put her foot down. He couldn't trip her. Not this time.

She allowed her eyes to gaze back up at him, and take one final glance. ...there was a sudden hole in her stomach, and she could feel her knees start to tremble.

Without saying another word, she turned around and went back in the house...closing the door behind her, and turning the lock...he didn't see her collapse in a silent wave of tears on the other side...but it didn't matter...he was standing on her porch, frozen in disbelief... Had...had she really just...? No...no, she couldn't be gone. He couldn't believe it. Couldn't process it. Couldn't understand.

His head was spinning.

This wasn't right...

There were a million things he wanted her to know... Maybe if she understood...

...maybe, if she understood..

_What I really meant to say, _

_Is I'm sorry, _

_For the way I am. _

_I never meant to be so cold. _

_I never meant to be so cold. _

_What I really meant to say, _

_Is I'm sorry, _

_For the way I am. _

_I never meant to be so cold. _

I never meant to be so cold.

XOXOXOXOXOX

I know it's a little...overdone as a fic. But to be honest, this is how my boyfriend and I just broke up. So...I figured I could turn it to a songfic.

Please tell me what y'all think.


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